[hickchickmom]

I have a question. My niece is sixteen. She was raped by someone she knew but did not get a rape kit or press charges. She kept it a secret from everyone but has finally told me and her parents. She won't tell us who the rapist is though. She is now four months pregnant. She is a virginia resident but wants to move to Maryland to live with her brother so she won't have to be around all the people she knows. None of her friends know she is pregnant and she wants to keep it that way. Here's the problem. She wants to give the baby up for adoption. Does she have to get permission from the guy who raped her since charges have not been pressed? Or will she have to press charges if he won't relinquish his rights. Her big fear is that he just won't respond at all and will leave her hanging. Will there be a court case to terminate the rights? And if he doesn't appear does that terminate his rights automatically? Is there a time period afterwards where he would still have time to come back and say he wants his rights to the baby? What is the best course of action here? I'm trying to get her to press charges, but she doesn't have physical proof since she didn't go to the hospital or involve the police. Does she have any chance of winning this case?

Thanks for your help.

[sheababy]

This is not the same situation but our bmom did not know who the father was. It appeared to be a one night stand and she only knew his first name. In our state a notice needed to be put in the paper for 30 (maybe 60 days?) and if no one responded our lawyer filed a petition for the bfathers termination of parental rights. This definitely needs to be done so nothing surfaces in the future. This would jeopardize any adoption.

Just because she was raped by someone she "knew" doesn't necessarily mean she knows enough to locate him, KWIM? Maybe he was just an aquaintance?

[AlongTimeAgo]

I'm sure things have changed in 40 years, but when I was raped, and subsequently gave up my child for adoption, her father had no rights in the matter at all. How can a person who commits a crime have anything to say about what his victim does with her child???

I would suspect that laws may have probably changed over the years, but I still can't imagine that a criminal (one who commits a rape) would be allowed to have anything to say about what the mother does with the child.

I know this didn't answer your question, but it just infuriates me that a young girl would have to go thru this. Can she or you check with Social Services of VA or MD to find out what she might be legally required to do?

I hope she's able to do this on her own without any further thought of her rapist.

Hugs, C

[hickchickmom]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. If my niece had pressed charges and a trial had come forth, he would have no rights. But because she hasn't done that, he hasn't been convicted. Which means innocent until proven guilty. I'm sure the law is in place for a good reason, just because a girl could say that she was raped, in order to give the baby up for adoption, and she might be lying. A father should have some say, if he isn't a rapist. I don't think this boy will care at all and I actually suspect he will deny the whole thing, which will allow her to move forward on the adoption. Otherwise, he looks guilty. I hope your life is a happy one now. Thanks for your comments.