[LasVegasMom]

My son contacted me Dec 07 and we had a whirlwind reunion. We got super close super fast. Long story short after he moved his family 3000 miles to live near me and the rest of his (my) family, he literally ran back to his aparents. That was 3 months ago and he sent me one email and stopped calling me. His wife kept in contact with me, but he never once responded to an email, text, or phone message. He has had drug problems and was struggling with trying to stay sober and restart his life. His amom is a big influence and smiles to my face but then tells him he should 'just get over her' (this info is from my daughter in law). Well just when I had decided to stop feeling sorry for myself because I missed him so bad, he called me today. It was odd, because I have wanted this so bad but now I'm afraid it will all go away. He knew I was emotional and told me not to cry, that we are ok now but I just don't know how to proceed. We were so so so very close and now he has his guard back up. With him, it is much better to be in person because he is very good on the phone just telling you what you want to hear. My question is what should I do? How should I act with him? How often should I call him? I want to call him every day but for now I was thinking maybe 2 times a week. I speak to his wife every day because we have become friends. I just do not want to screw this up and I'm feeling lost. Any of you bmoms in long term reunions would really help if you could give me some advice. I don't want to smother him but it is like really hard. Help

[RavenSong]

My own opinion is that two days a week is too often to call him right now. He hasn't spoken with you for several months up until today, right? I just think twice a week might scare him a little, at least for now.

I'd start off with once a week, and if that seems to be too much for him to handle, cut it back to once every other week. One thing you might want to think about is sending him occasional greeting cards through the mail. I know my son enjoys receiving a "thinking of you" card from me every now and then. (He usually calls me right up after I send him a card.)

You're probably going to have communication problems in your relationship with your son until he stops using drugs and/or alcohol altogether. Drug addiction can complicate a reunion relationship very easily and very quickly. Do you know if he's tried going to a Twelve-Step program? They really do work, one day at a time.

Hang in there. It's still real early in your reunion time-wise. I know that you're probably worried sick about him. I'm just afraid, though, that you'll scare him away if you contact him too often, at least right now.