[JustPeachy]

My situation is different, since my son's adoption was not closed, but rather semi-open. I always kept the agency updated with my current address/phone and in recent years have been involved in bmom support groups. I've always known I wanted contact with my son and it's something that has been supported. Not all my friends know about my son, but close friends do, and most of my family does. It took me a long time to tell my spouse, but he knows, too. Given that, I think if I were in a closed situation, I would still likely want contact, but I cannot speak for all bmoms. There is another member of my family who did a closed adoption and she does not speak of it. The whole family knows, but her grown children do not. I often wish I could talk to her about adoption issues, and some of the challenges I am facing right now. I also often wonder if her child came forward, what she would do? Since she is not able to discuss the matter, I cannot say.

[longingtomeetyou]

the past 18 yrs have been the most horrible gutt wrenching extremely painful time of my life!!
i really had no one who would listen to me
my family never wanted to talk about it
cause there mentality was it was closed and i needed to move with my life
MOVE ON?how can anyone just move on after giving up a baby and try to have a normal life after that???
im my case i wasnt a druggie/etc etc
i just got pregnant

tk GOD 18 yrs have come and gone



and i sure look forward to one day prayfully meeting my daughter face to face and hugging her and knowing she wants contact with me .....

[kune]

jwmjwm
Have you considered registering with one of the Registeries so if your bmother decides to search, your contact details are there and she knows you would welcome her.

Ann

[jwmjwm]

Hi Kune - Yes, I am registered with a local registry for the area where I was born, and have considered registering for the big one... can't remember the name of it now. You're right, and maybe I will go ahead and do that. Thanks.

[Mockingbird]

wonder -

Freaked/Thrilled!

Freaked out at the prospect of having to explain everything to family/friends and having them judge me; at the possibility that my son would not like me and would just take the information given and leave my life.

Thrilled that my son actually wanted to talk to me and meet me and that I could find out how his life had gone.

-----------------------

[cls2445]

Wonder, My dau was placed 45 years ago. (Yes, I was sent away, I was 16) I was told I could NEVER search for her or EVER get any info re. her. She was always in my heart. A year ago she contacted me. I am now complete..and she is in my life as well as in my heart...we are developing a great relationship. My parents, my sister, and her bfather were the only ones who knew about her, but that was a subject that was taboo....never spoken of. (I did tell my husband before we married.)
Its is so wonderful to be able to talk about her now, hug her, and share with her. At the begining of our contacts there were many times I thought I was having an emotional break-down. It hasn't been an easy journey, but oh so wonderful.