[quantum]

Well, phew!
I am a little tired since I flew back home all last night but I wanted to update you all on what's been going on.

First of all, the fantastic news!!! Bson drove up to meet us on our vacation leg of our journey (ie we were not staying with my parents at the time). He couldn't bring his girlfriend, but still came on his own. Let me tell you IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!!! We had two nights and one day together. We got along great. Same sense of humor (little twisted, so it works). I just can't really express it. He loved his sisters and vice versa. They are 4 and 2 and don't quite get what a brother is yet, and thankfully the 4 year old was able to get past the fact that he wasn't a girl who would be a princess with her. Hahaha. A couple of best moments, when he thanked me for not having an abortion (never an option for me thank goodness) and when he was on his way out saying that I was stuck with him now! Whooo!!!! I guess I'm feeling that he's feeling the same way I am. Phew.

On other fronts. I asked my mom 'do you ever think about the son I gave up?' She said yes so I told her, that we were in contact, that he was well. That felt good. It was so hard to talk about though. 22 years of burying something makes it hard! She told my dad who reacted well as well. I did tell her that I wasn't ready to put them in contact since I wanted to feel more secure in my relationship with bson first. So GET THIS, after the initial discussions, even though we were staying in their house for another 7-10 days IT WAS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN! Good grief. The other thing was that my mom asked if I'd told my mom-in-law yet. I said no and she said she was worried they would judge HER. !!?! WHAT? Because she didn't adopt him herself (which I told her would have f'd us all up big time, and it's true!). OMG though! I know I should be more empathetic, but SHE is worried about being judged???

OK ! enough for now.
*HUGS AND LOVE TO YOU ALL*

[InBlindFaith]

I am so excited that you were able to get to know your bson!! That is fantastic!!!

(((Big HUGS)))

[thanksgivingmom]

Great news!!! Glad to hear it!

[browneyes0707]

Don't be sorry for the long thread!
I love happy stories!
Hope you get to post many more

[longingtomeetyou]

im so happy for you.......

tks for sharing .....

[amyshaw]

Quantum,

[quote=quantum] OMG though! I know I should be more empathetic, but SHE is worried about being judged??? [quote=quantum]

I busted up when I read this! When I told my a-mom I was pregnant with my daughter, she said "You did this just to embarass me!" Oh yea, that's JUST what was going through my mind the night I got pregnant!

Anyway, I'm sooo happy for your good news! Keep the updates coming, no matter how long they are!

[kakuehl]

The other thing was that my mom asked if I'd told my mom-in-law yet. I said no and she said she was worried they would judge HER. !!?! WHAT? Because she didn't adopt him herself (which I told her would have f'd us all up big time, and it's true!). OMG though! I know I should be more empathetic, but SHE is worried about being judged???

Quantum and Amy, To her dying day, my mother believed that anything her children did or said reflected on her ability as a mother. (Actually, I don't remember her taking credit for the "good stuff.") She even blamed herself when my children did something she didn't approve of. (If she'd just been a better mother, so would I.) And of course, there are people who do judge parents based on their children's decisions.

Quantum, my dad has now met my bson (about 14 months into our reunion). Dad and I have talked so about the time that I was pregnant and chose adoption. (Not a lot, but fairly openly). I'm trying very hard to move at D's pace in terms of meeting other family. I have however made it clear that this is a subject I am open about. I am trying to view this as a journey of discovery - getting to know this stranger who is somehow not a stranger. I hope your reunion goes well for you.

[quantum]

Phew, so it's NOT just my mom.
That IS what she's doing though. She blames herself for my getting pregnant.
My brother has some illnesses which she blames herself for as well.
I think it's kind of sad actually.