[zzetta]

I have just recently been given information about my bson (who is now 19 years old). I am currently trying to get up the courage to contact him. But another problem I am having is telling my parents that, not only am I looking for him, but have found him. I have a very close-knit, loving family, I am just not sure how they would feel about this. Over the years my mother has told me to "get over it", my father won't talk about it. I guess my question is this, do I wait until/if I am in reunion with my son, or do it now so there are no surprises? My whole family was very supportive of me during my pregnancy (I was 16 years old) but it all seemed to go away once I signed the papers.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[MrsHoot]

As someone who's recently reunited with bdaughter I would say wait to tell them until you've reuntied with bson. You will know when the time is right. (I told my Mom within 48 hours of first contact and I'm sorry I did)

[Mommy24]

Zzeta, the best advice I can give you is this...Take care of you! Please dont try to take on how everyone else feels, or might feel, you deserve to do what you need to do for you! I am not saying your parents dont matter and their feelings arent important , just that, its their problem to deal with, you are going to have enough emotion in your reunion and trying to make everyone happy is probably not what you need.

Do you know for sure that your parents arent going to do well with the reunion? My mom also told me I needed to "get over it", however when I do discuss reunion I can tell she wants it for me, she knows it is important for me.
My opinion would be to tell them now, so they have time to "deal" with it before he comes into the picture "physically"

Best wishes, and Congratulations on finding your Birthson

[zzetta]

Thanks for the replies. I think I am going to wait a little while to tell them. I want to make sure that there will be a reunion first. No sense in stressing them out if nothing is going to come of all this.....

[evildishrag]

When I told my parents I'd made contact with my son (who was then 18), the big concern was don't disrupt their lives, don't interfere, leave those nice people alone... You get the point. Once they realized that everything was fine and nobody was going to get hurt, they were actually excited and very interested. I couldn't help but thinking 'wish you were this interested when he was born' but of course I bite my tongue.