[PacificCoastHighway]

I just received my non-identifying information and want to let my birth/natural parents know that I am doing well and have a wonderful life.

In the information I received, it states that the young man wanted to marry his girlfriend and both sets of parents decided against it. It also stated that my birth/natural mother wanted to know what sex the baby was and was advised against it. I am female.

Birth/natural mother was 16 when I was born in Tampa, Florida, May 10, 1960. Birth/natural father was 19. Birth/natural mother was in 11th grade in high school and birth/natural father was in college. They were not from Florida.

The information included a statement by the girl’s mother that they did not want to know about me or my whereabouts, but because of the circumstances (birth/natural mother expressed concerned that I have a good mother and father among other things) outlined in the information I received, I felt I should make an effort to let them know how I am doing without identifying them.

God bless you both!

[merrill1277]

Hi,

That is a beautiful gesture on your part to post this, hoping that your natural parents may possible see it. It looks like the grandparents had quite a bit of control over the situation back then, in 1960. But your natural parents are no longer minors. They may long to see you and know you. This shouldn't be up to the grandparents anymore, but up to you and up to them. Have you thought about the possibility of contacting them? Then you would know for sure that they knew you had a good life and could find peace in that, and you could know more about them.

Merrill

[PacificCoastHighway]

Thank you! I have decided not to search because the families were both well-off financially and prominent in their community. I don't want to create any more trauma for my birth/natural parents as they are probably prominent now as well.

The narrative of the adoption interview, written by the social worker, was so sad that I felt compelled to try and let them know I am fine without contacting them directly.

There was actually a lot of information in my record, including their hobbies, accomplishments, ethnic background and medical history to that date.

Julie

[StorkWatcher]

Julie - how sweet of you to post this! I hope they see it. I am an adoptive mom and think about when my son gets old enough to want to see all the info on his birthparents (if we don't have contact w/ his birthmom at that point).

I feel you are very fortunate to have such an idea about that their lives were like, and the hobbies/history/accomplishments. I was hoping to have all that type of information, as I am curious and think my son may be someday, too.

[mamabee]

Julie, I would write a good letter telling your natural parents about you...but leave it open in case they do want you in their lives....You may be surprised and if they are as wealthy as you say...if they do get the desire to check in your file....maybe they will find you!!!!

[janiej]

Julie~ why do you hesitate to let them know "personally" what you are thinking ?

I waited nearly 40 years for my bson to find me. I did not have a computer, did not know anything at all about searching, and felt I had no "right" to........... perhaps they feel the same ?

I don't want you to set yourself up for disappointment, just letting you know how I, me, myself felt as a bmom of the 1960's era.

I had left my info at the "home", hoping that some day he would ask for it ( if indeed he knew that he was adopted, and knew where from - fortunately, he DID ! )

I never dared to dream I would see him again, but I have, and it has been the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me.

I do hope you consider trying to contact them. Whatever your choice, thank you for writing what you did. It means alot, to myself and I would presume alot of other bmoms who are "waiting". God Bless YOU too !!

[Jackiejdajda]

My sister married well.. I married very well but we do not have a lot of money..

At my dads funeral I was talking with my sisters son.. He was born the same year as my bson was born.. I had to hide my pregnancy etc.. so the wealthy part of the family knew nothing..

They met.. My bson and my sisters son are both executives and or owners of companies.. They had a very nice evening in my bsons city.. They are the same kind of people.. Something I am totally amazed about..

At my dads funeral.. I spoke with my sisters son about how I had to keep the pregnancy etc separate or secret.. I said to him. “Your granddad and grandmother would have been very upset if your moms sister was pregnant out of wedlock.”
His face changed when he understood what I said.. “Yes” he said.. “You are right.”

My point..

Times have changed.. The ones who had to keep up with the richie richie people are long gone.. my sister and her family are real.. They know that no one is perfect.. They know how difficult life can be..

So I say contact and be discreet but maybe think positive .. Maybe think that your birth family and relatives have changed.. have evolved..

Jackie

[PacificCoastHighway]

Thank you all for your gracious responses! I will not discount the option of contact.

Kindest regards,

Julie