[lyndalou]

Dear Jackie, Thanks for the link, I posted there too. Julia Cameron needs another visit from me. I would be delighted to do some work on that when I get back. I'd like to start again. When I go back over my old morning papers, I'm astounded by how much has changed & how far I've come. She really teaches you to go deep within yourself for your own answers. I even have a new copy as I passed my original on to an Artist who needed it. Back to this issue of not holding our babies. I seriously thought I could not handle it (The adoption) if I saw him or held him! I thought I could somehow let him go easier. I made that choice. Was I so uninformed? I guess so. People tried to tell me. I thought they wanted you to hold the baby so you'd get attached & keep your child! Boy, was I wrong. I don't regret placing him for adoption. I was too insecure emotionally & financially to provide the life he needed. But, I sure regret not holding him & saying "Good Bye".

[Jackiejdajda]

lyndalou wrote..She really teaches you to go deep within yourself for your own answers.

Maybe we can start threads here and talk about sorting our emotions.. Some healing threads..

I seriously thought I could not handle it (The adoption) if I saw him or held him! I thought I could somehow let him go easier. I made that choice. Was I so uninformed? I guess so.

I don't know if anyone talked with me about this.. I don't remember anyone talking about holding the baby.. I know it was not done with the CC agency that I was with.. The girl across from me was also relinquishing her baby.. She had more guts than me and I think she questioned this.. But then they moved a woman into our room who was keeping her baby.. A legitimate woman.. She requested that we should stop talking..

Its interesting that they put women who were keeping their babies in with you as well.. Do you think it was common practice back then?

My goodness I got shameful when they told me that I must stop talking about what was happening..

Jackie