[shannismile13]

Hey everyone....i found my sons adopted name and i have a copy of his birth certificate with his adopted parents listed on it....i didnt realize i would find the information so quickly....kinda caught me off guard...i guess i wasnt prepared for it as much as i thought i was....i'm greatful that they adopted my son and raised him but just seeing someone else listed on the birth certificate where my name was supposed to be was pretty hard.....birth time,,,doctor,,,,hosptial,,,,everything was exactly the same except i wasnt the mom.....thats hard.......am trying to deal with it because i did give him up but i wasnt prepared for that at all....am just greatful that the people thru here were able to get me that far in such a short time....i'm gonna make contact as soon as he turns 18 which isnt that far from now....(6months away) I waited this long so that shouldnt be to far....i just hope he wants to see me,,,know me,,,,or at least let me know hes been ok....if anyone has any advice on how to approach him at that time please let me know....thanx everyone shannon

[silverqueenbee]

Congrats on your find; I bet your next 6 months will be some of the longest of your life!

As an adoptee, I always wondered about my bmom, why did things happen the way they did, did she remember my birthday, how did she chose between giving me up and my brother (she kept my full-brother). It was not easy growing up feeling "different" but it wasn't something that was a constant thing that was on my mind. I definitely wanted to see her at least once and then see how it went. I was terrified of being rejected by her because even if the first time it's out of love, it was hard for me to really understand that. I had been angry when I was a young teenager going through my identity thing but really had nothing bad that I had held against her. When I had my kids, it really hit home for me just how hard it must have been for her and I knew if she was anything like me, she would want to know I was okay and that I didn't hate her or anything.

I can't speculate on how your son will react but take this time to clarify how you will proceed when the time comes. One thing that was hard to understand was how she could love me so much when I felt like she was a "familiar stranger". It was and is still strange and wonderful to get to know her. I don't know how the story will end but it was definitely worth the risk of finding her...Best of luck to you!! B

[sspete]

My bdaughter was 19 this year, and the time just felt right for me to contact her. I decided to write her parents a letter first to see how they felt about it all. I had a trust that only the good Lord can give that this was the right thing to do. It has worked out Great. My bdaughter is taking her time warming up to me and after a couple of letters in the beginning she pulled back, but she is coming around again. Remember......MOST importantly give him ALL the space and TIME he needs. It could take him awhile to become comfortable, but then again he may jump right in!!!!!!YOU JUST NEVER KNOW!!!!!!! I can honestly say.....it is scary, but well worth it all.....JUST BE PREPARED....The emotions are AMAZING!!!!! Sending much Luck, many Blessings and A BIG BMOM (((((((HUG))))))!!!!

S Pete

[Calean]

How did you get his birth certificate? In California (where my daughter's adoption took place) they will only send non-identifying information. As far as birth certificates go, the law says that I can't get a copy of the birth certificate, I can only get a copy of any non-identifying information that may be on the certificate. I wish all states had the same laws for adoption... it sure would make things easier and a LOT less confusing...!!!

What state did your son's adoption take place in? (just curious...)

Donna

[shannismile13]

once i got my sons adopted name from the states birth index i went to the vital statistics office in the city where I had him and requested a copy of the birth certificate that was in the adopted parents names....they didnt even ask who i was they just gave it to me....the original one with my name on it is sealed in the records for him when he turns 21
....they just gave it to me...i just acted like i was there for it and they didnt question it...calean if you need any info email me at shannismile13@aol.com i had a search done on my sons address on the birth certificate and i now have his current address...im waiting to make contact until he is 18 let me know shannon

[enrique18]

Originally Posted by shannismile13

Hey everyone....i found my sons adopted name and i have a copy of his birth certificate with his adopted parents listed on it....i didnt realize i would find the information so quickly....kinda caught me off guard...i guess i wasnt prepared for it as much as i thought i was....i'm greatful that they adopted my son and raised him but just seeing someone else listed on the birth certificate where my name was supposed to be was pretty hard.....birth time,,,doctor,,,,hosptial,,,,everything was exactly the same except i wasnt the mom.....thats hard.......am trying to deal with it because i did give him up but i wasnt prepared for that at all....am just greatful that the people thru here were able to get me that far in such a short time....i'm gonna make contact as soon as he turns 18 which isnt that far from now....(6months away) I waited this long so that shouldnt be to far....i just hope he wants to see me,,,know me,,,,or at least let me know hes been ok....if anyone has any advice on how to approach him at that time please let me know....thanx everyone shannon

what is your sons name? im looking for my mom my birth name is enrique M. Rodriguez Jr.