[1977Angel]

Sunflower,
Not sure who you're asking about date of birth (sometimes these threads are tricky to follow) but just in case it was me you were asking....

My daughter was born 8/21/77 in Rochester, Minnesota. She was placed thru Catholic Charities. She was premature so it would have been easy for them to change her birthdate and make it believable. Years of wondering and looking.... Maybe it's just time for me to put it in God's hands and pray for peace, on both sides.

Blessings and best to you.

[GailLane]

My daughter was born 6/20/1985. Like everyone says what you do is according to your situation. 1977 is a long time to wait 26 years I tell you I am only 18 years and 5 months and what 5 days. I don't want to wait that long. I am searching and sometimes I want to give up. BUt, the more I read I will pray for patients. I will call and I will keep asking questions. The new thing I thought of was how Catholic Charities gives non-id info. how about the court house wouldn't they give out non-id who was the judge what exactly happened. I wonder? I just don't want to push someone to far. I do follow the law and guidelines and I did wait 18 years to become active. I did request a catholic family and that she be told of her adoption but who knows if this happened. I ramble alot and I think it is good for people to talk about things you get ideas and leads that may not have been possible if you didn't talk or listen. Good luck to all. Gail

[sunflowerta]

You shouldn't give up. I really hope my birth mother is looking for me out there. I have been searching for awhile now, but only to hit dead ends. I wonder if she thinks of me and I just want to thank her and tell her that it's ok. I never had any hard feelings. I was adopted though catholic charities in Indiana. My birth date is 12/09/1977. Good luck!

sunflower

[lemonchutney]

I was found by my bmother when I was 23, and have a good relationship with her now. At times I've thought I should have been allowed to choose to search, like she "took my search" from me. At the same time, I have always been deeply touched that she cared enough to look. Now I don't care much how our first contact happened...I'm just glad she's in my life.

You do not have the right to *interfere* with her life.

However, I think you have the right to try to find her. And if you find her, you have the right to invite her to have contact with you.

Good luck and best wishes,
LC

[GailLane]

I think interfere with is a big blow to birthmoms. My intentions are not to interfere but, to know. When a birthmom and I am only speaking for my self here gives up her child the day it happens is when it starts. I look at my self now and I know for a fact it never would have happened. When I was 17 I really couldn't tell you what happened. Not my choice. It was decided that this was the best thing for everyone. Believe it or not my sisters and brothers both have children that are 18 how were they to raise another infant. My family is very close and I just don't understand how they let her go. How did I. It is true that people put things in the back of their minds and forget which I have done successfully I do not remember alot of things from 1985 and I hate it. Why did I? I couldn't even answer that when she asks if she ever does. I need a good reunion I don't want this to go on forever. I want her to meet my whole family before time runs out. All we have it time. Your birthmom is lucky to have you in her life and I am glad you have her. I have so many mixed emotions about it all. But I am glad you responded to let me know how you feel. Thanks Gail

[La_shan]

I know how it feels not to have any leads or anything being and an adoptee good luck in ur search...closed adopted are really hard to get information with...keep seacrching I don't plan on givin up

[hello&goodbye]

How I wish my birth mother would have tried to make some kind of contact. I do not want a relationship, but perhaps a meeting would have been nice. She did put her name on a registry, which I found by accident ( another story another time). In her subsequent letter to me, she impied a half way attempt to connect. I think she was guilted into doing even that. She never regretted giving me up, just getting pregnant in the first place, thank God abortions were not legal then maybe she needed this oppronunity to "put the record straight" as there were some problems with me after birth. So she told me her side of the story, which is all I could ask for. I did try to send her another letter through the third party, however it was sent back with a terse reply ( basically bleep -off you're too late)At least I know my history which is what I wanted in the first place. I do not believe one can or should turn backs the hands of time, just look forward, though i do remember when I was younger around my birthday aslways searching in the paper for the people search, hoping she would put an ad there. It was not to be. She know where to find me if she really wants to, I did leave her bread crumbs for that, but if I never meet her ( just once mind you) that is ok to. i have enough feeling of self now to know that this is to be.