Waiting Room of Patience (whatever that is) - Page 6

**thanksgivingmom** · #76 05-16-2007, 04:33 PM

a red? a white? you name it!

i prefer the reds myself...mmm...pinot noir

zxczxcasdasd · #77 05-16-2007, 04:59 PM

So today, DS said that he isn't sure now about sending the announcement. He's confused. He wanted to know what I thought. I told him this was a situation that could not be about what I think, and he has to decide for himself, but I could help him sort out his own thoughts and feelings.

Long story short, the in-depth conversation ended with a plan that I will send an email tonight to her saying that there is a graduation announcement and several photos on their way to her in the mail, and that DS would like to set up a time to call and speak with her on the phone. We are also inviting her and her two other children, if they would like, to meet DS, and us (but leave little guy with a babysitter) for dinner at one of DS' favorite restaurants some time in the last couple weeks of June. They live across the country, 3,000 miles away, so this would be a big trip, but if they have other family out here or can make a trip of it in addition to the dinner meeting, he would like to meet them. Beyond that, is open-ended. DS is open to whatever may come, but isn't sure what he wants or what he will want in regards to ongoing contact with them. But we'll start here.

I am waiting to send the email until DH gets home because I want this to be joint and I want to do this as a family, but tonight it will happen. I'll keep you all updated.

PS You guys crack me up.

browneyes0707 · #78 05-16-2007, 05:45 PM

Wow Heidi! From an announcement to a note to an announcement and pics and an invite? Your DS has come a long way since last summer when I first heard your story!

He sounds like a very mature man. You must be so proud of him!!!

Keep us posted!!!

lahdh4 · #79 05-16-2007, 06:11 PM

TGM: at this point with me feeling like I do I think I could only stomach cough syrup.
If I was feeling better it would only be white wine.

zxczxcasdasd · #80 05-16-2007, 06:21 PM

Just sent the email, which included our phone number and an invitation to call.

This could be a big night.

Browneyes, you're right. This is a huge turn-around. I asked him too, what changed his mind from when I asked him about sending senior pics, when he said no, and even a couple weeks ago when he said "Nope, never" to the idea of meeting her. He said he knew that was a big turnaround, but he had no idea why. He's still pretty confused. Mostly curious, a little afraid, not sure what's going to come of this, and not sure what he wants to come of this. But he thinks that as his biological mom, she deserves to meet him and know he's okay and he can figure out what he wants after that.

But we just sat down together and he edited and approved the email and we hit send. It's off.

Now we're the ones waiting! What a 24 hours.

josh1788smom · #81 05-16-2007, 06:55 PM

Uh - did somebody say Margarita????????? I've got a bottle of patrone in the cupboard and a margaritaville margarita machine - wanna hit it Amy???????

josh1788smom · #82 05-16-2007, 06:56 PM

Keep us posted Heidi - this is kind of a funny change of roles for us.

zxczxcasdasd · #83 05-16-2007, 07:00 PM

I could definitely use a margarita!

browneyes0707 · #84 05-16-2007, 07:26 PM

Well, have a margarita Heidi, you have had a day!

And fingers crossed that it all goes well for DS!!!

lahdh4 · #85 05-16-2007, 07:51 PM

Heidi that is wonderful!!! Keeping my fingers crossed.

**thanksgivingmom** · #86 05-17-2007, 08:03 AM

Wow Heidi...I mean, wow. A visit now? Can I say AGAIN that your son and his birthmom are SO lucky to have you filling out the third part of the triad!

You have to keep us posted!!

zxczxcasdasd · #87 05-17-2007, 11:02 AM

TG- You are very sweet, but I don't think it's magnanamous on my part to support this, I really think it's my duty (and basic human decency) as a parent to give my mostly-grown child his own life and to honor the boundaries and the openness that he sets for himself. While he refused contact, I guarded the boundaries and just kept talking to him. Now that he is open, it's my privilege to be there with him as he takes these first steps. I think I'm the lucky one.

And for our up-to-the-minute update, she responded positively this morning. She's concerned about some logistics of the visit but sounds like she wants to make it work. I responded that if she wanted to call, after 6pm Pacific would be the best time. And I sent off the announcement and pictures.

We'll see if she calls tonight. This is a huge moment for DS. He's a little unsure about the phone part. He's unsure, but willing. He doesn't want to be the one to call, but he'll talk if she does.

I'll post again when there's more to tell.

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