[Tigger27]

Okay, I'm freaking out a little right now...in a way that I'm sitting here calmly while inside I'm shrieking and reminding myself to breathe lol.

I was just doing stuff around the house and left the room and came back in and found a message popped up on my Facebook chat from my 4 1/2 yr. old's mom that said, hey, do ya wanna come to my jewelry show on Saturday, as in this Saturday at her house and I let out a high pitched squeal so Hubby asked what was up so I told him and he started laughing at me .

Anyway, so looks like Hubby and I are going to drop by to say Hi at their house on this Saturday around noon. I'm going to stay for an hour or two for her jewelry party/show and to talk or whatever, but Hubby's not sure if he'll stay or just meet her, say Hi and then go and come back to pick me up later or what, but yeah I'm freakin out a little here.

My 4 1/2 yr. old won't be there, she'll be next door at their neighbors, but still...that came as a total surprise to me and me with my brain and freakin out here was thinking a little bit ago...what if my 4 1/2 yr. old is outside playing, what if she comes home early or for an emergency or something...what if for some reason I did see my 4 1/2 yr. old when I go over to their house for the jewelry show this Saturday and then I was like and so what...if she's okay with it and would like me to come then I go and if I saw my 4 1/2 yr. old, then I'd deal with it (emotionally speaking mostly), but chances are high with the way our relationship is going that I'll be seeing my 4 1/2 yr. old before too long at any rate anyway.

And ya know, if it was my 6 yr. old and she knew I was coming, she wouldn't go to the neighbors house cause she'd most likely want to see me, but this is my 4 1/2 yr. old and she doesn't quite understand or get the concept the same way as my 6 yr. old yet. Anyway, my 4 1/2 yr. old won't be at the house so if it happened, it would just be on accident/by chance.

[quantum]

I would think that your 4 1/2 year old's amom knows of the possibility of a chance meeting and is ok with that so...
I think it will be cool for you Anne!!! I understand your nervousness though, but I guess meeting up in this way is good in some ways since it's around a jewelry show and not one on one time kwim?

Keep us updated!

[sstuart]

I agree with Q. She knows the chances. I think it is GREAT. Have fun and BREATH!!

[zxczxcasdasd]

I am thinking about making a call to E. It has been over 2 weeks and NOTHING. I am really getting ticked off right now.

I'm ticked off for you! I can't believe how long this whole process has taken. Did you make the call to E yet?


Tigger, That's awesome. It sounds like you have really built a great relationship with both your kids' families. Hope it goes well.

[lahdh4]

Heidi, there has been movement. L finally called the agency and E called me probably the same day I posted that or the day after. I talked to her on Tuesday. E now has a better time frame to call and talk to L and will suggest meeting someplace to talk about it all.


Anne, have fun!!! just remember to breathe!!! I know easier said then done.

[Tigger27]

Well, I'm more calm about it all today...of course tomorrow or Saturday...I might be nuts again .

So, how's things with all of you going?

Leigh, I'm hoping some more movement will happen so something positive can happen already...it's just ridiculous how long this has taken to get to this point and how they've been taking so long to respond to talking about things.

(((HUGS))) to everyone .

[Tigger27]

Okay so I went to the jewelry show at her house and it was a really good experience/visit for us . Hubby went with me cause he really wanted to meet them and wants to be involved and is very supportive of it all too.

If I had to sum it up in one word...I'd say it was 'wild', I guess...cause it was good, but it was also a little weird, but mostly just different and not what I expected while being what I expected at the same time, if any of that makes any sense lol .

The thing I keep saying when I talk to family/friends about it...is that the weirdest thing about it all...is that it wasn't that weird at all. It was the weirdest thing because it was so normal and natural to me - being there with Hubby and all of us and the way we interacted.

It felt like I was coming home...to another part of my family...I just felt like I fit right in and that Hubby fit in as well too. It was just really great and we had a lot of fun talking and hanging out etc. for 2 hours or so and then talked about our plans to go out for lunch too and what not.

There was a few minutes I kinda freaked out and felt sorta like I couldn't breathe so well though. It was when we'd been there for a little bit and my 4 1/2 yr. old's mom was like oh I better go get her from the neighbors and she left to go get her and Hubby and I were sitting there going uh what do we do? We were like should we stay or not cause we weren't sure if we should be there when my 4 1/2 yr old was going to show up back with her mom...but we didn't want to leave without saying bye etc. to her mom...so we waited for a few min and then the door opened and I slowly turned to look as my 4 1/2 yr old's mom comes walking back in (I was reminding myself to breathe lol).

Anyway, she walks back in and is all well, I went to get her and she was sitting watching "Beauty and the Beast" and eating a popsicle and she was like why are you here and didn't want to come home yet...so she didn't bring my 4 1/2 yr. old back home since she wanted to finish watching the movie and eating her pospsicle so then I was like to myself, okay I can breathe again lol.

Then we sat and talked with her and everyone there, who was mostly family who knew about me for a while longer. She also showed me a little tour of their house and we went in and looked around at my 4 1/2 yr. old's room and stuff too.

So, another part/different stage in the whole friendship/relationship with more openness in my adoption world has begun with one of the families...and we'll see where things go...and then how long/when I'll take this step with my 6 yr. old and her family...and then when I'll start seeing both my girls and having one on one time or what not...it's all a WILD ride...and I've been processing a lot since hanging out with them yesterday and coming thatclose to seeing my 4 1/2 yr old for what would have been the first time since I placed her...it's all really great and all...but it can also be a little overwhelming.

I'm beginning to get a glimpse and some more understanding of what all the people mean when they explain visits, their relationships etc., who have been in totally open adoptions from the beginning...and I know I still haven't seen either of my girls...yet...but I'm starting to get more of an idea of what it's like and what all the open adoption people mean when they talk about their visits and everything.

So, yep that was my weekend . How was the weekend for everyone else?

[quantum]

Wow Anne!
That IS a lot for you. I totally get your panic. I'm sure it will get better though, sounds like you're well on your way to a great relationship.

My weekend was CRAZY. First, I was feeling a bit insecure about next weekend (I'm going to teach at a Nordic Quilt convention, it's a BIG deal, there will be people there from all the Nordic countries, I'm going to be teaching three classes in three days, I have students from everywhere but Iceland). Plus I was sort of feeling insecure about my future. What if 2010 comes around and no one wants me to teach anymore? What is my next step?
Anyhoo, Saturday(or was it Friday?) I get a phone call from one of my students, she is SO excited, and talking about wanting to take another of my classes, but it's full and so on. She said there is a group of them that were thinking of coming down to the shop where I normally teach, but to be honest, I don't think the owner will let me teach that class again(she's a bit weird that way). So I spent the day thinking a lot and am writing up a sheet that explains my costs if I come out to teach to them, or they can have the option of coming to my hometown! It's been kind of exciting thinking about THAT as an option (there are a couple of places I can rent to hold the class in).

So then on Sunday, I get another phonecall saying 'we need a favor from you. Each country participating next weekend is going to show two quilts from two different quilters at the big dinner on Saturday night. Do you think you could bring a quilt for us to show?' wwwwhhhhAAAAAATTTT??? I decided to not point out that I wasn't actually Swedish. ;-) I also hadn't booked a ticket for the dinner, but she didn't care! She just wanted one of my pieces. ACK. It's been hard though because I know there will be a lot of people there, I need something that shows up, but something that has meaning, something that's me...

So am I babbling? yes. Am I excited? Yes. Am I freaked out? You betcha!

I've got some work to do.
hugs to all