[IFoundMegan]

Well...

I found Megan on Monday, and on Tuesday evening, she IM'd me. I couldn't believe my eyes.

She started the IM with "hi" lol...poor thing, she doesn't even know how to talk to me.

The entire IM lasted a total of 7 minutes. Mostly me talking. I asked her if it was ok with her mom and dad that we IM. She said "yes".

I did get a chance to tell her I love her. Thank God for that.

Soon, she said she had to go. I quickly asked if we could talk again soon, and she said "eventually". I'd give a limb to know what "eventually" means. I just don't know. I've waited 17 years now, and pray to God that "eventually" isn't another 17 years. I have no idea how she feels about me. Not even from the IM. No emotion from My Megan.

I've done nothing but sob uncontrollably since Monday. I'm trying so hard to keep it together, but not doing a very good job. My poor husband has no idea what to do with me. It's the only thing I can think about. I'm exhausted. My eyes burn and that familiar ache from 17 years ago is back with a vengeance.

Please, if anyone out there has any advice, I'm here waiting. This hurts.

[healingfeeling]

it sounds like she is open to contact...just give her a little time...after all she did im you within a day!!! that's great!!!

whatever happened with her mother and the phone call you made to here work. Are you more settled with that now?

you're doing great and remember to hug your husband and tell him you love him!

[maryjanek]

IFoundMegan --

I never would have gotten through my reunion without help from a sympathetic therapist experienced in adoption and birth mother issues. The reunion brings back all the pain of the relinquishment, and since I didn't deal with it at the time, I had to work through it all 30 years later.

Healing hurt, but it was more than worth it. It's hard for people who haven't experienced it to understand what you're going through, though. You've got to find someone who can give you support through this.

I wish you all the best.

Mary Jane
Birthmother in reunion 7 years