[firstmom47]

It's so hard to wait, once you start searching. I was very lucky; the first time I tried (10 years ago)--nothing, but since then birthson put his info out there and 5 weeks after I signed up on G's Adoption Registry we were put in touch with one another--free!! Met in September, looking forward to more (live 1800 miles apart, so it'll be infrequent)
Post as many places as possible, (free only) and look for the other on as many sites as possible.
Very happy to know about him, will never forget our first meeting.
Don't be afraid to try--the other person may be wondering why you're not looking!

[URGERR66]

Hope Someone Can Help,
Daughter Was Adopted In Shreveport,louisiana In August Of 1987,i Have Been Looking Only A Short Time I Am Very Hopeful,love Her So Much,this Is So Hard

[smokeegyrl]

I gave birth to a 7lb 6oz baby girl on 6/7/67. She was born at Denver General Hospital and now known as Denver Medical Health One in Denver Colorado. She is bi-racial mixed with black and Spanish. It took me 30 days to make the decision of giving her up. I went back to get her because I changed my mine but they already took her Mrs. Helen Inez Richardson from Social Services informed me the family is from Omaha, Nebraska, him being African American and she being Caucasian. They were radio hosts and were planning to move to California because of a job offer. They talked me into giving her up for adoption. I was young and very confused at that time. I celebrate her birthday by getting away by myself to think of her birth and what she looked like when she was born. Her baby face is still etched into my brain. I see her beautiful perfect smooth skin, big dark eyes and her jet-black hair that layer down like silk on her face. She had a lot of hair on her head. I loved her then and still love her now more than ever. They were going to change your birth date up to 3 days prior or after. They may have told you, you were born in California so you will not find me. Because of the way I felt at the time of adoption, they wanted to make sure I didn't go back to get you and they were right because I did just that. I love her so much!!!

I had to seek counseling after giving her up because I couldn't bear the mental stress it caused me of giving her up. I loved her so much. She needs to know why I gave her up. Every 2 years I go to the Vital Statistics here in Denver and leave my contact information in case she tries to get in touch with me. Her Birth name was Chevette Rene’ Thomas; I named her before the car chevette came out. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. I now have 3 sons, 7 grandsons, 2 granddaughters, and 4 great grandchildren. I would love to find her. I have been looking forever since I gave her up. Every face I see out there and I wonder is it her. Oh I yearned to find my daughter. If anyone knows of someone who fits this description and knows they are adopted, Please notify me at smokeegyrl@ymail.com.

Thanks for hearing me out.

[URGERR66]

I want to find her and make her part of our family,can you help me find her

[hayleysgirl]

I am a birth mother who relinquished my daughter to adoption in 1978. I really did not want to give her up & had changed my mind when I was in labor. I went thru a very hard labor (32 hours) before they took her by c-section. I was a minor at the time, but they had me sign the papers right after surgery when I was still under sedation and my parents were not at the hospital. They were told when they came back that I had signed and that she was gone already. My parents were unable to see me still and thought I had changed my mind back. After such a long and tiring event they didn't realize that they should have been there with me. I was told by a search angel that in the 70's, when the adoptions started to be done by other places then the state agencies that doctors and attorneys basically sold the babies to their friends and family. I really believe that someone heard me say I had changed my mind and they let me go thru labor for so long that they had to keep me sedated for such a long time. Once I came too I figured she was already gone and I was not prepared for her so I didn't do anything about it. I have never forgotten her and I have searched for many years, especially since the internet made it easier more things available. I have not been able to have children since because of the c-section I had. There has been an emptiness in me all these years. Sometimes I get so depressed and cry for her, for me for missing raising my child, I think I would have been a good mother. Maybe not 16 and that young but I have missed motherhood and there is a lonliness in me that I will always have.
I think that there is a match for my daughter and I have sent out inquiries thru the web sites with no response. I am afraid she doesn't want to meet me. A search angel gave me a list of the females that were born that day and I matched her first name and middle name that was on the adoption.com web site with my list and found that name on list and searched google and came up with her myspace page. My mother can not believe how much she looks like me and my dads side of the family. I am 99.999 % sure she is my daughter. What do I do now? Do I give more time for her to respond to my messages sent thru the web sites? What if she didn't get them? How long do I wait? I am so anxious and nervous, what if she doesn't want to meet me?

[Mom_Rose]

Dear Susan,
All of our stories have some things in common, I think mine may be a little bit different in some ways. Maybe you have some advice for me, because I am very scared right now and in a lot of pain, even though I have found my daughter.

I surrendered my daughter almost 30 years ago. I was in a relationship with her birth father, who talked me into giving her up. Yes, I agreed to it, but I was not really willing, I cried the entire time I was at the agency to sign the papers, sobbing actually. He and I stayed in a relationship, and I did get pregnant again shortly after the birth of my first daughter. As we left the agency, after signing the papers, he told me that I was never to talk about this again, 'this' being a child, our child. He told me it would easier for me. He was older that me, 17 years older. After the birth of my second daughter, within a few months, the abuse started, he threatened me that if I tried to leave, he would take her from me. I felt helpless. I decided to stick it out until my daughter turned 18. It was a horrible existance for me. I escaped into my own little world, where I lived with my first child. I know now that this was unhealthy, but at the time, I could not bare the thought of losing another child. Finally, after 21 years with this man, 19 years of it being pure hell, I escaped. I literally moved 500 miles away. I lived in so much pain and fear, I promised myself I would not go back, no matter what. Before I left, about 3 years before I left, I began to search for my adaughter. The papers that I got from the agency, I had put in his safe, which he would not ever give back to me. He just refused. I could not remember the name of the agency nor the town it was in. I was in that kind of state during the adoption period.

Well, I have since gotten married to a wonderful man, who I told about my daughter within months of us getting together, the only person I ever spoke about her to. I kept searching on the internet, with no luck. I did call my ex several times, asking for the papers, but he just laughed at me. It took several years to get over all the pain he caused me, doctors and zoloft, but the nightmares have stopped.

Well, 13 years after I started to look, one night on this site, I found her. I just knew it was her. It took me hours to respond to her search ad, but when I did, she emailed me within 5 minutes. I was shocked. It was a Sunday. We spent the afternoon sending emails back and forth, by the evening, she sent me some photos of herself. I was positive, she was my Mini-Me. The next day, she contacted the adoption agency and started the process of us confirming. By Friday, we were sure.

She has been incredible to me. She has been very attentive and supportive of me. She is way wise. She has an incredible family and had an incredible life. Just as I imagined. It has only been about 6 weeks since we have met, we email and have talked on the phone a few times. I am just so scared that I am going to lose her.

There are a lot of other facts I am not including, this is long enough for you to read. But the birth father has died and my other daughter wont speak to me, she is angry I left her father. I did not search for one daughter to replace the other, since I started to search years before our estrangement. They have nothing to do with the other. I have reached out to my daughter many, many times over the last 10 years, but she is still angry at me, for no reason really.

My 'found' daughter, as I said, has been amazing to me, I have been very truthful to her, even though I did not want to hurt her. I told her that. She wanted the truth. I do not think I could stand life if she were to stop speaking to me at this point. I want a relationship with her, I do not care what kind, she never has to call me Mom, nothing like that, just be my friend. I am going slow, letting her call the shots, letting her take the lead. I have invited her to see me when she can, and she wants to, I am so excited but so scared. Am I being foolish? What advice can you give me? Of course, meeting her has brought back so much pain, having to tell her about her bio dad, what a horrible man he was, of course, I did not tell her that, but I had to tell her some of it. But the pain, and now new pain, of hurting over the time I missed with her, it does not get any easier, but I am overjoyed with finding her. I really thought I would never, I thought that was my punishment for giving her up in the first place.

Any advice you can give me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much, Rose