[dmartinez]

Am searching for my son need help...have an address and know the names of adoptive parents...however I am unsure if he knows he is adopted and don't want to just send letter...please help

[Cully]

The American Adoption Congress works for the rights of triad members all over the country. I would like to forward this e-mail to all who are interested.
hugz,
Cully

Subject: FW: Message to All Birthparents

Date: Sun, 4 Jun 2006 20:29:03 -0700

> > PLEASE FORWARD FREELY!
> >
> > WANTED - BIRTHPARENTS TO SUPPORT ADOPTEE ACCESS!
> >
> > All birthparents willing to acknowledge publicly their support for
> > adoptee access to identifying birth information,
> > please contact AAC.
> >
> > Your willingness to add your name to a list of supporters will
> > contradict the myth that birthparents fear contact.
> > Names may be used in state-by-state legislative efforts to enact
> > legislative reform.
> >
> > Send your name, state in which you relinquished, and date of
> > relinquishment to Carolyn Hoard, choard@comcast.net
> >
> > Mary Martin Mason
> > Legislation Director
> > American Adoption Congress
> >
>

[Cully]

dmartinez,
how old is your son? How would you feel about writing to his a-parents?
Cully

[Cully]

Originally Posted by cindjoblac

Hello Everyone,
I have not been on this site since 2004, as I have been lucky and been reunited with my birthson Byron. Boy, is it a wonderful thing. He is amazing. He has had a wonderful life and very loving and caring adopted parents. <snip> Most of the adoptive parents are very open to at least meeting us, as we gave them something that they would have never had if not for us.

I am now on another search. My husband and his first wife lost 2 boys to SCDSS in 1994. The oldest will be 18 in October. I want so much to find them for my husb

cindjoblac,
Congratulations on your reunion!! How is the new search going? How do you approch a search involving SCDSS - it must be very hard. Good luck and God bless you.
hugz,
Cully

[Marguerite]

Susan,

I am a birthmother who has found her daughter after 25 1/2 years. I sent her an e-mail to her myspace page and now she has removed herself. I told her I just wanted to be her friend and that I am grateful her parents raised such a beautiful girl. I am very hurt she did this with no reply. What do I do? It was bad enough being forced to give her up, now she does not want to even see or hear from me. Crying out for help.
Marguerite

[katlyn]

I am an only child and I just want to know. AND, as silly as it sounds, I need to know if she eats cheese.....LMAO.....My family eats cheese like it is a staple of life, and I can't even stand the smell of it. EVERYBODY likes cheese....but me.

Sally, I am a bmom and I too was touched by your words, I hope that my daughter wants to know those things, I want to tell her everything that she is ready to hear. It is wonderful that you had such a loving home, and I hope your search is a quick one and your reunion is a happy one. Also, I just thought I'd add to your comment about cheese....my son hates it....won't eat it at all, so you are definitely not alone!
Susan,
I just want to know, is there ever a time when I should just back away and wait for my daughter to make the next move? She is 20, but still lives at home and is currently in college. I have sent her two letters, and found her on Reunion, I know that she has gotten the letters and I know that she has looked at my profile, but she still has not responded. I had a friend(bmom), email her, a third party if you will and she did not reply to it yet. I took some suggestions, and started a myspace acct so that she can read about me anonimously. Is there anything else I can or should do? Should I continue to send her letters every few months or should I just sit back and wait...and wait...?
Thank YOU so much,

[L@@king2]

Hi everyone - I too am a birth mother in search of my daughter - born in 1969, May in Los Angeles; I'm sort of in the same boat as Katlyn - as I have sent a letter to the amom (actually, who I THOUGHT was the amom, turns out it was her stepmother) in June; another letter to my bdaughter directly (certified/signature required letter), which was signed by the stepmother; and on 9/14 I found an email address for her stepfather (who is married to her amom)... and now I wait! I was thinking to mail a letter to the amom now - and would like any suggestions from anyone if that sounds okay??

Good Luck to ALL of you out there searching... it really takes a toll on your emotions... WHAT a rollercoaster ride!!

[virgo3]

Rory, I'm also a Birth mom who lost my son at the age of 16 to NY Catholic Adoption . I had an emergency C-Section. While coming in and out of the anesthetic, they told me to "Sign these papers please" My mother had seven children and couldn't support a new mouth to feed. I was in denial about the pregnancy, so it was easy for my family to pretend it didn't exist. But I do remember someone asking me what I wanted to name my beautiful son, and I said Anthony Allen. When I left the hospital. I asked my mom what happened and all she could do was cry. So I learned not to hurt my mom any more with questions. But I so wanted to know more.
I hope you find your way to the light. I hope you find your answers, and if you can give me any help I would appreciate it. Ellen

[tracy71]

I am searching for my birthdaughter who was born on 8/12/87. Her given birth name was Kristy Lee. She was born in Ft. Myers, Florida @ Lee Memorial Hospital. This was a closed adoption, where i received little written information regarding the adoptive parents.

I had thought I found my birthdaughter last Sept. I became very attached to this young child. Until 2 days ago, we thought we were a match. I have since confirmed that we are not mother & daughter. Now I am starting my search again. I do not know how i can begin to search again. Finding out she was not my daughter has broken my heart. Please if anyone knows how to find my real birthdaughter, please let me know. There is a big hole in my heart. Thanks so much

[Marguerite]

I just wanted to let you know, I totally understand how you feel. I was forced to give my daughter up 25 1/2 years ago. I was contacted by a girl in 2003, for 6 months we wrote each other, then I suggested a DNA test, she wanted nothing to do with it. My heart broke. I have since found my daughter, however she wants nothing to do with me at this time (I can only hope she forgives the past).
My daughter's natural father did a search through reunion registry, once the PI got the correct information from me, she was located in 2 weeks.
Keep in mind that does not alway turn out to be the best for adoptee and natural parent.
Good Luck in your search and I hope you find her soon.

[jb0521]

*you may have seen this post as for i have posted it in a few areas*

hello everyone. this is probaby the third time i am writing this story (bad connection) so it should be at its best this time!
i am new in this group and need as many people/friends to talk to as possible

lets start here: i am 19 years old and dating my boyfriend (27) for only 2and a half months now (we have been friends for over a year now). i found out one month ago that i was pregnant. it could have been the worst news i have ever heard in my life. thoughts kept flashing through my mind. i am too young to have a child. i have so many hopes and dreams ahead of me. i was planning on finally starting college this january. neither my boyfriend nor i have a steady job that will financially support this baby. my first choice was to abort. my boyfriend and i both agreed we are not ready to be parents. i made the appointment, simple as that, but i didn't go, i couldn't go. i didn't go to the second appointment, third, and couldn't even call to make the forth.

just the beginning of this week i thought about adoption. i looked into it each day and discussed it with my boyfriend last night. he wasn't as thrilled as i was. he couldn't imagine the idea of giving up a baby. after long hours of talking, we came with a decision to go through with the adoption. it would be the best thing to do for our baby. it will give a great opportunity for those who want to adopt, and eventually, years from now, my boyfriend and i could have a baby of our own (just as easy as this one!)

i went to the adoption clinic this morning. they were very supportive and explained more than enough information to me. i chose to go by myself for the first visit and can't wait for my boyfriend to come with me next time. they are working right now to find the right adoptive parents for our baby.

tomorrow i will be going with my boyfriend to the doctor for the first time. i hope to find out the sex of the baby! i want to do everything "right" or what is told is right for this pregnancy and for our baby to be healthy. i want to have an open adoption, stay and remain as close as possible to the adoptive parents.

this is running long, there is so much more i want to tell!! 9 weeks down and about 7 months to go! seems like a very very long time concidering i have already been through so much. my family/friends don't know about this yet, but i am planning on telling them shortly. in the mean time, i need as much support as possible!! thank you and i hope to keep in touch throughout my pregnancy, recieve advice, comments, questions, stories, etc. talk to you soon!

-unknown (you can just call me jb)

[tracy71]

I just read your post. I just want to tell you as a birthmother, please really think hard (do some soul searching) before you place your child for adoption. I had a baby girl when I was 16 yrs old. Let me tell you to this very day, my heart is still broken. There has never been a day that has gone by that i wish she was still with me. I miss her so much. It feels like i have had an empty space in my heart, missing her. She is 19 now and how i would give to have her with me right now. I pray that you do what is right for you and your baby.

[sheilapearce]

BIRTHMOTHER SEARCHING FOR DAUGHTER FEB. 1967 FAIRFIELD, CALIFORNIA CONTACT ME msfroggie2002@hotmail.com

[L@@king2]

just an update on my l@@king...

I sent a letter to the "real" amom, attaching a letter for my daughter... I have now received a response (10-10-06) that amom received my letter, has given the other letter to my daughter... she asked that I "not" contact my daughter until she contacts me.... and so I wait... again... BUT!! At least she (bdaughter) knows I'm "out here" l@@king for her!! I'm happy!

and... jp do what's in your heart... do a LOT of soul searching.... as tracey says... it IS the hardest decision I ever made in my life! Our conditions way back when... 50s thru the 70s - was a "no" decision... people made them for us... anyway... good luck in your decision, jp it is definitely a "hard" one to make.

[Scarlet Moon 13]

Originally Posted by Elaine

Hi Susan,
When I gave up my son for the adoption I had to push it way in the back of my mind because it was to painful. I had been a "good girl" and had never gotten into trouble until then. I have horrible guilt in recalling that I produced a son, and gave him away. I am 45 now and he is 24. I'm just now taking baby steps to search. I know his nonidentifying info, and about intermediaries. I am hesitiating using an intermediary becuase I want to be the one to find him and have first contact. Am I just being selfish?? I am also an adoptee who conducted my own search for my Bmother 5 years ago. Found of her, but she had passed away. I know that searches can be emotionally exhausting, but I'm gearing up for it. What do you think about letting intermediarys do all the work opposed to doing your own search??

Not all intermediaries make frist contact. You can hire someone to do the search and you can make the contact.
Most state authorized intermediaries can get into the closed records and get all the real names and former addresses. That doesn't always make the search faster, but you are garunteed the right people from the start.

I was visiting my birthson and staying in his home while he was at work. The phone rang, and this searcher called looking for someone with the same name. I laughed and told her, she had the wrong adoptee, I was his birthmother.

I have worked on reunion web sites, and made phone calls to the adoptee where they asked for contact before phone numbers or email address' are given out.

Some adoptee's need time others don't.

You just never know.