[kk1991]

I am a 20 year old birth mom to a 15 month old little girl. The adoption should be finalized by the end of december and its a very open adoption. I live with the baby and her adoptive parents we have been friends since before i was pregnant. I didnt decide to give her up for adoption until she was about 10 months old because i couldnt go through with it before. I need help on how to deal because ive been so depressed lately and just feeling like i failed as a mother can anyone help me out????

[txrnr]

I wish I could help! All I can say is we are here to listen and help how we can. I'm an adoptee, so I don't know what it's like to give up your child. I would imagine that depression would be very normal for a case like this. I'm sure some of the others with experience will be along to comment. Weekends are slow here, so please don't take it as a sign that no one cares. Wish I could help more!

[kk1991]

thank you for responding im sure it is common but i just wish i knew how 2 make it a little easier. I always think about in the future when she finds out she was adopted if she will hate me for giving her up or how she will feel about it

[txrnr]

I didn't hate my bmom for giving me up. I actually understood. As hard as it is, don't create problems that may not be there.

[jdtc]

KK-
I gave my daughter up for adoption almost 17 years ago. It is very normal to be feeling what you are feeling. It may be harder on you since you are so close to her and interact with her, but that may give you some comfort too, knowing you will be in her life.
I had the same fears too, wondering if my daughter would hate me for my decision or not be able to understand my reasons for making that choice. We just connected recently and she had none of those feelings! Your daughter will probably understand when she gets older but will probably have a lot of questions.
Don't dwell on what the future may bring. Enjoy watching her grow up. There isn't anything to make this easier. Time, maybe a little, but it is a very hard thing to do. Just keep reminding yourself of the reasons why you chose adoption and that it was for the best of your daughter.