[srulku]

Hello, I am new to the forums, been reading for a few days and finally made a post. I am a birth mother/first mother and have recently been trying to do what I can to find my daughter.

I do not have a lot of information, I can't even remember her birthdate, I can only estimate the year based on what I believe was my oldest daughters age at the time.

I just wanted to say thanks for having me here and that I am glad I found this site, I've read many of your posts and it helps to know I'm not alone in going through this, I have my husband who is very supportive but even though he is very supportive and would do anything in the world to help me find her, he just can't understand how I feel.

[annierose]

Welcome Srulku! Alot of people on this site have great search ideas and are all good listeners and good advice givers! I have found that people who are not directly involved in the reunion process do not understand as well as others who's lives have been impacted by adoption. There are alot of people in these forums who have been where you are, and it serves as a great place to get support. Have you registered already in the registry on this site?

[srulku]

Thank you and yes, I registered right away with what little information I have.

Right now I just feel like I'm running around in circles, not knowing where to go or what to do first.

I had made another post on the forums explaining a little more in depth, I've contacted the hospital where she was born, they distroy records after 10 years so that's a dead end and the social workers office will not release any information to me whatsoever, but they did have me fill out a release of information consent form in case she (Madison) decides to try and find me...I just don't know where to go from here.

[BlackSheep]

Hi and Welcome!

I'm glad you found this site, also. It has helped me immensely in the last year since I found it, also.

Have you posted in your state's registry (if they have one?) or ISRR? (isrr.net)

You may even want to try a search angel. Try vsn.org. They may be able to help.

I wish you luck in your quest.

[srulku]

I've posted to the state registry as well as this one, I haven't tried search angles yet, I've filled out the form for ISRR to send in.

Right now I just feel like I'm grasping at straws, but to be realistic I've not been searching very long, only a couple of weeks...I'm just not one of those patient people

[RavenSong]

Dear Srulku,

First of all, welcome to the forums!! It's always nice to see new faces. There are a lot of great people here from all three sides of the triad. I've made a lot of good friends over the years here, and I'm sure you will too!

I read on your other thread about the hospital informing you that they destroy all records after 10 years. Having worked in health care for many, many years, I have a hard time believing this statement. What a lot of hospitals do after not seeing a patient for 10 years is send the medical records to storage. In other words, the hospital records are archived, not destroyed.

If I were you, I'd call the hospital back and ask to speak to the director of the department of medical records. Tell the director that it is imperative you obtain a copy of all your records for the late 1980's. If I were you, I'd also request a copy of your child's nursery records.

I was able to obtain my hospital records 18 years after giving birth. I was also given my son's records from the same time period following his birth. It did take the people at medical records a couple weeks to send me copies because they had to search for them in the storage archives, which were kept at a separate facility.

Don't give up -- I'm sure those records still exist.

[austin0i]

Hey Raven,

Do you know if I, as an adoptee, would be able to get my nursery records from the hospital?

or would those only be available to my bmom?

Thanks Raven

Kim

[RavenSong]

Originally Posted by austin0i

Hey Raven,

Do you know if I, as an adoptee, would be able to get my nursery records from the hospital?

or would those only be available to my bmom?

Thanks Raven

Kim

Hi, Kim!

You should be able to get your nursery records, as long as you know what your surname was at birth. Some hospitals will let you have a copy of the actual delivery records in addition to the nursery records, but they'll "white out" your bmom's name.I have read thru the years, though, that sometimes it's tougher for adopted adults to get those records than it is for their bmoms. Dealing directly with the director of medical records seems to help gain access, though.

It's definitely worth asking for your records, Kim. The worst thing that can happen is they'll say no.

[austin0i]

Thanks Raven.

If I asked my birth mother, she may help me, but I am going to try on my own first.

You have given me great information to start with...so thank you and have a great Saturday!!

K

ps. Honestly, as an adoptee who was denied basic information for so long, I now have a buring desire to get my hands on every little piece of information I can. Getting these nursery records would be great.

[Xdad]

maybe this will help you figure out the birthdate?

I started writing a "backwards" journal. I just filled in what I remembered and fit the puzzle together with verified dates. I am in contact with many old friends on facebook, they offer up memories, and I add those. Before long I'll have a nice biography (one I can edit and give to my daughter), and be able to remember what I may have forgotten. I was an abused child, and a brain surgery survivor, so memory isn't my strongest quality

[srulku]

Originally Posted by RavenSong

Dear Srulku,
I read on your other thread about the hospital informing you that they destroy all records after 10 years. Having worked in health care for many, many years, I have a hard time believing this statement. What a lot of hospitals do after not seeing a patient for 10 years is send the medical records to storage. In other words, the hospital records are archived, not destroyed.

Thank you for the advise, I will call them again...I thought it was so strange that they would just destroy records like that but figured that they were small and probably didn't have the resources to store them....what's the worse they can say if I call back, the same thing?

[srulku]

Originally Posted by Xdad

maybe this will help you figure out the birthdate?

I started writing a "backwards" journal. I just filled in what I remembered and fit the puzzle together with verified dates. I am in contact with many old friends on facebook, they offer up memories, and I add those. Before long I'll have a nice biography (one I can edit and give to my daughter), and be able to remember what I may have forgotten. I was an abused child, and a brain surgery survivor, so memory isn't my strongest quality

That is a great idea....the only problem is the verified dates part....I just don't have any right now, but if I am able to get information from the hospital that can get me started anyway....I was also going to contact my doctor back in indiana to see if I can get copies of my health records/doctors records, there may be something in there.