[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by lp198720003

This is something I worry about. When I first met the parents they seemed very nice and caring and like I've said before they just seem to be really good people. As I'm getting closer to my due date I only talk to one parent and it almost just feels like a business deal, nothing emotional about it. The other parent came to one of my sonograms and just didn't act like she cared about being there, like it was nothing special, and then seemed a little disappointed when the doctor said it was a boy.

Please trust your gut. I see so many red flags with this situation.

[Susie703]

You absolutely need to see your baby, hold your baby. I am a birthmother, my firstborn son was born in 1979. I was not allowed to see or hold my baby when he was born. When he was 3 weeks old I was allowed a SHORT visit with him at the maternity home. My biggest regret was that I was so young, with no guidance, did not know that I had the right to see and hold him when he was born. It haunts me that my tiny baby was abandoned by me, from the moment he was born. I was only 15, the decision for adoption was completely mine, and I knew I was making the right choice. Yet the fact that I did not hold him still hurts, 30 years later. Giving my son up was the hardest thing I have EVER done.

If you are not sure about your decision, then you have not made the right one yet. Do not let anyone other than yourself be the reason for choosing adoption. In 10, 20 years, the people you are worried about hurting now will be just fine, will have gone on with their lives. You, however, will be living with the loss of your child. Realize, if you choose adoption, the moment you place your baby in their arms, you are taking their pain of being unable to have a child, and taking it onto yourself, as the pain for the child you gave away, pain that WILL NEVER go away. Yes, you may go on to have a very happy and fullfilling life, with many more blessings. But, the pain in your heart and soul will be there forever for your missing child.

Please take the time to make the right decision for you and your child. Good luck to you.
Susie

[Laura_s_son_11-96]

Hello, I am a birthmom and I strongly suggest you see and hold your baby after he is born. When my son was born he stayed in the room with me even overnight, the whole time I was in the hospital. I fed him and changed him. The a-parents came every day but they would leave the room if I had family or friends come to see me and the baby, which really helped. Holding him and seeing him really helped me in saying goodbye, and in a way letting him know that I do love him.
It is your decision if you want them in there or not obviously, but I think you should spend as much time with your baby as you wish or you will regret it.
I think that going to counseling is a great idea. I went to counseling before and after I had my son, it helped alot. There were times I was angry but mostly jealous that they would get to see him grow up and be there at every moment. I think researching all of your options and the resources out there will help you out alot if you choose not to place. I did hear that the fire dept. might have car seats available, I think you just have to fill out paperwork proving that you are in need of it.
One thing that also helped me while I was in the hospital was, I wrote a list of reasons why I was choosing adoption and if I felt angry or sad I would read it to help remind me.

I hope that everything works out the way that you want it to.

[bromanchik]

Hi lp198720003
I was just wondering how things are going??

[happygmom]

Hi lp19872000,

My daughter thought long and hard about adoption for her son. This pamphlet helped her and her dad and I to look at her situation more objectively. The emotions run high. I could not sleep for weeks. I can't begin to imagine what she was going through.

"What you should KNOW if you're considering adoption for your baby"
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1

Honestly, I get the impression that you got swept up in your sister's enthusiasm to help out her friends. Is it possible that now that the reality of your child is closer you are beginning to weigh your options without your sister's influence?

I agree with the other posters, your sister is very wrong about not seeing your baby. You should spend as much time with your baby as you need to be sure about your decision.

Happy G'Ma