[Rylee45]

As I mentioned in another reply post recently, I truely appreciate people here letting me spout and get things off my chest and be able to "clear the air" so to speak really makes a difference to me and sometimes ESPECIALLY the recent things I've gone through, have stopped me from doing something extremely wrong that would have hurt my family more than I was caring about at the time.

I believe if it wasn't for some of you guys I might not be here right now. I want to thank those of you who have taken the time to even PM me and the kind things you've said and the hugs and just plain out letting me be able to scream and cry and throw my fit so to speak.

I'm feeling better at the moment and trying harder to work on my life and actually trying to not be so angry with everyone and everything around me. I just hate the days that I get feeling so depressed and down.

I do know some of what I'm going through is definitly "the change". My doctor confirmed that recently. I've been reading about what it involves and well, extreme emotion is one of the symptoms. I SO hope it's not going to get any worse. If I'm going to get more emotional over regular stuff than I usually do and then ADD my daughter and what she does effecting me, I'm DOOMED.

I just wanted to let you all know too that I am just grateful for you so much for holding me up these days while I've been having such horrible horrible emotional problems over adoption and life in general. I don't know if the doctor is going to give me any meds for this or not so I am going to see if there are other things I can eat or drink or vitimins or something that I can take to help if he doesn't give me something for the emotional part of what I'm going through.

A while back (last year) another doctor told me I wasn't going through the change that my blood tests didn't show any abnormal hormonal imbalances and said I was just stressed. However I had looked into foods and things for hormonal problems and the change etc awhile ago when I suspected it before she told me I wasn't. I just forgot what I read so I'm going to look it up again and see what I can do. I DON'T want to deal with this forever. My doctor told me I could have been going through this now for at least 2 or 3 years by his observations and description of what I've been going through. I don't know why that other doctor couldn't see it too. I've really believed I was going through menopause a long time ago but when they told me I wasn't I stopped looking for ways to "get through it".

Anyway.........................................

Thanks again for all you do and all you have helped me with these days and all the other times since I joined the group.

Rylee

[epenn922]

These boards have helped me enormously during my darkest times. It helps to be able to vent and have people there who actually have a clue what you're going thru. So many people are clueless about the impact that adoption has.

Glad to hear that you're feeling a 'bit' better. My doctor put me on Prozac for my peri-menopause symptoms. I was so reluctant. I didn't want any medication. My husand convinced me with the 'what do you have to lose' argument. Within a few weeks, I was feeling significantly better and I haven't had any side effects. Sometimes you have to try a couple of different meds to hit the one that works for you.

[annierose]

Rylee, you have the right ro feel whatever it is that you feel. You own your emotions, no one can take them from you. My mother, along with many women from that era were told to "move on" and "those feelings will go away", but they did'nt and never will. If I have learned anything from coming to this site, it's compassion. My mom has'nt met her son yet, but she's already telling me to get ready because she knows she is going to "phycho out" in her words. She has beleived the lie to stuff those feelings away for 33 years and now she will be forced to re-visit them. I think reunion for her, is like re-living the trauma all over again. You are not alone, and like you, this site saves me everyday. I read, I learn, and I feel. I personally thank you for sharing your story, it takes courage and heart to go through what you went through. I'm glad it's getting a little better for you, try to keep your head up.

[RavenSong]

Rylee, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better right now. It does help to vent here when you're feeling so badly, doesn't it? I'm glad there are forums where we can listen and share with each other, without being judged too harshly.

I hear you about the menopause thing. I've been going thru it the past couple years, and my emotions have been all over the place...including anger that just seems to come out of nowhere. Menopause is a diagnosis of hindsight, meaning that the docs wait until a woman hasn't had a menstrual period for one year before they diagnose it. The transition to menopause, perimenopause, can last for years, though. Mood swings are very, very common throughout the whole ordeal. I have one more month to go, and then I'll be officially menopausal instead of perimenopausal, lol.

[Rylee45]

With me, I haven't had a period since 1986. I had a hystorectomy that year. I was told then it would probably put me into early menopause but it never did (to the best of my knowledge anyway) so the doctor couldn't go by that. I still have my overies. The doctor said he is sure I'm going through menopause right now and like I said for possibly 2 or 3 years already.

But it definitely does make a difference to be able to talk. I just wish things didn't get to me so bad these days. EVERYTHING gets to me. Life sucks sometimes and I wish it would end but then glad it doesn't after I am able to calm down.

Rylee