[valleysally]

[

and things have gone from bad to worse as far as contact with Jason and his family......Up until last November or so, at least Shirley would answer my mails....and keep me up to date on Jason's acitvities, but since before Christmas last year, she has not answered my emails.....

I have tried not to be too pushy, ( even though I suspect that my trying not to be too pushy led to Jason thinking I don't care..but I am making that up ....as he isn't saying ...)

Anyway, I have only written her 3 times since last November....and still no answer....

SHirley and David are getting on in years, and I know David has not been in the best of health...so I am very worried about them....

I have pretty much given up hope that Jason will ever want anything to do with me, he is in serious denial that I even exist... .....which is a shame cause I only wanted what was best for both of us....to begin with .....

I am just checking in cause I thought maybe some of you might remember me , and I wanted to up date you.....

This year is the 10th anniversary of the death of my only sister, and there was only the 2 of us....and both my parents are gone....so Jason is my only close blood relative.......and I still battle depression and loneliness ....doing better than I was however, have a place to live...and some new friends across the country who have litereally saved my life....

so things could be worse , and they have been !....so ....but the situation with Jason ....haunts me .....

It is......hard, hard when you know you did the right thing, at least as best as you could at the time given what you know...and the situation you're in .....

and you find out years later, that probably it wasn't the best thing ....

oh well....babbling again .....

sally

[bromanchik]

Welcome back!

[JustPeachy]

Sally, welcome back! I don't have much in the way of good advice, but just wanted to say I'm sorry that your emails haven't been responded to and things aren't going the way you wish. It is tough, isn't it? I understand exactly how you feel about feeling you did the right thing and then years later questioning it. I feel the same way in my situation. I felt I did the right thing and was pretty much OK with everything over the years, but somehow when my son was grown and I hit the mid-life years, things got stirred up for me. It doesn't help that I'm going into menopause! I also lost my only sibling, and it's just me and my mom right now, and she's not in the best of shape. Anyway, I wish things would turn around for you. I don't think you are being too pushy at all with your emails. It's so hard not to get a response...

[hpfreak080]

Well, maybe (hopefully) if David's health begins improving you will get responses more often. I know that sometimes when we are wrapped up in our own family "stuff" we tend to forget about others around us.

As for Jason, I have no real advice or help for you. I only wish you the best and hope/pray that things begin improving for you (whatever that means).

[epenn922]

It may be something as basic as she doesn't go on that email account anymore. I've had a couple of email accounts that for one reason or another, I don't check anymore. Do you have another way of contacting her?

[valleysally]

egad, Just Peachy !.....parallel lives or what !....I WAS ok with the adoption for the years of his growing up.....but I think that the hidden agenda, as in my hidden agenda, as in hidden from myself !.....

Anyway, I guess I always thought that when he grew we would get to know each other and be friends.....then I found out he is a photographer of rock and roll bands, and that's what I did for years.....what could be more perfect ?

then to find out he doesn't even acknowledge my existance ....yikes I was flattened ......still am .....I keep thinking ....Jason, you don't know me, I am such a nice person, not to mention, how can you ever come to grips with yourself when you deny who you are?

And he IS having trouble with "finding himself" as an adult....from what I gather from SHirley, he was a very secure child.....and I KNOW they doted on him .....Shirley and I kept in contact, albeit on a sparse level.....and she sent photos and samples of his school work and when we talked on the phone ...we did so for literally hours !!

Which is why I was so unprepared for the reaction I got when I finally moved back to northern California....when he was 16, Shirley was talking about his being able to maybe meet my mom, I guess I'll never really understand why he doesn't want to know me ......all I ever wanted for him was the best...I chose his parents....I wanted him to have oppertunity in life that could have never given him .....

aND HE got that too ! Shirley and David adore him, and are there for him every step of the way.....uhm perhaps he is a little too spoiled ..who knows....I surely don't.....

Anyway.....I have a million things to do today, but I did want to tell you that it is weird, finally, I found someone who really really gets it, cause you're the first person who seems to be in the same situation as I am ....at least on the surface anyway....

I hope we can talk more ........

Sally

[SuddenlySusan]

Good to hear from you again, Sally... I'm sorry that it has been so hard for you, especially lately. I hope you hear from them soon....and that things get better with you and your son. Adoption is one long, hard journey...

Peace,
Susan

[soprano]

Hey Sally,

I wasn't here to get to know you in your past postings... but welcome back!

I'm sorry your communications haven't been returned, but I have had what I call an "ebb and flow" relationship with my daughter so feel like I can relate.

I've gotten solace from this forum (even when I'm just lurking), so I know you'll find the companionship/validation/hugs you need here.



soprano