[NanieB44]

Sparky,

My firstborn daughter's a'mom lied always about my/her daughter being adopted. When she found out the we were reunited (20 years ago) she was furious and told my daughter, "Remember, I am the one who always loved you!" We both know that her words certainly do not convey REAL love. I understand her being threatened....but...as someone said, our babies didn't "fall out of the sky". If you adopt, you must accept the whole package and not be selfish. It should ALL be about the welfare of "our" children.

My greatest pain is that after I surrendered my firstborn, I married and had a daughter and a son. My son and his family are very close to my firstborn. However, my other daughter, though they have met and liked one another so much, even after 20 years cannot not accept my firstborn and get over the fact that afterall she was not my firstborn. She will tolerate getting together at big family events, but otherwise it's never talked about and she just wishes her older sister didn't even exist. I feel like I found my lost daughter and lost the daughter that I also loved and raised in the process.

Why can't people just get over all of this? There is pain and loss for everyone in the adoption triad, but why can't everyone understand that the human heart has an infinite capacity for love and that loving one doesn't diminish the love of another. ?

Thanks for listening. Sorry to go on so.

[NanieB44]

Everthing you said here, Raven, is sooo totally right on!
Hope all is well with you.

Blessings,
NanieB