[a_christyne]

is that when I do finally have a child I can raise and call my own.. I won't love them as much as I love my son who I put up for adoption. That having them will only make me miss him more and I'll wish they were him instead.. I feel so incredibly guilty for thinking these things..

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who's felt this way. Someone please tell me this will go away soon.. I don't want to be scared like this forever, or feel guilty forever.

[quantum]

I have two daughters that I'm parenting and I wasn't sure if I'd be capable of loving them. But of course I do!
For me, when it was right for me to have children that I was going to parent, I wasn't afraid.

[susieloo]

having three more beautiful children never filled the whole that was left after relinquishing my first born, but I love each and everyone one of them dearly.
susie

[josh1788smom]

Raising my children has certainly been impacted by the child I am not parenting. It would be nice to be so naive to the fears and losses I feel from the loss of him.

But, I love my kids with my entire heart, and they are my life and world. Each one is the love of my life, and I love their unique individuality and don't compare them to each other or anyone else.

[Gwen72]

I placed my son for adoption in 1991. I love him, miss him and think about him every day. When I finally got my life straight and was ready to raise children I discovered that I had secondary infertility. Therefore, I adopted a son in November 08. How's that for ironic? I love my adopted son dearly. He is the light of my life. He does not replace my first son though. I think it's similar to parents who are unsure if they can love a second child as much as the first. I know some people with biological children wonder if they can love an adopted child as much too. Children are so precious that you can't help but love them. You may not love them the same as another child but you love them just as much. That's been my experience anyway.

[kakuehl]

My experience is similar to the others here. My other two children did not replace D, but I love them deeply and for themselves.

[womac1]

You will ALWAYS love & miss the child you relinquished, that's natural! And when you have another child I bet that feeling of guilt will go away, and you will love that child like no other, because their SPECIAL!! That's how I felt when I had my son(2 yrs. later) and I still feel the same way today...

[SchmennaLeigh]

I can assure you that I love all three of my children (one placed, two parented) equally. I love them in different ways and for different reasons and I show it in a different manner for each but, yes, I love them equally.

[AlisonMarie]

All the fears vanished when I gave birth to my daughter 6 years after placing my son. I still miss my son, but my heart feels a little more full now that I am a mom.

[Monster]

I have this fear everyday, i tend to bond to my friends children due to the fact 7 years later im still not ready to have a child again out of fear i will fail as a mother, I know i will be a great mother i get told that often i just wonder. still ,so i cant say it will go away or change but i do know that i can love again wether that be my friends child the boyfriend or my family being a mother is about a bond and about love when you have a child you automatically have that bond and as we all know love seems to follow in its footsteps so just keep you heart and your mind open and the rest will fall into place. This dose not define you as a mother it only helps you grow as an adult give yourself some credit you did the right thing once you will know how to be a great and loving mother when your times comes..