[Rylee45]

I'm not sure how to deal with this "new" thing going on in my daughter's life.

She told me that she thinks she's pregnant again.

I know I should feel ok about it but it's tearing me up inside because I KNOW I'll never get to know that new baby IF she's actually pregnant.

I haven't acknowledged it at all. I won't comment on it when she mentions it because I don't want to cry. I change the subject and act as if I didn't read what she wrote about it. I don't want to think about the fact that I won't get to know it and won't get to meet it ever or probably not even SEE what it looks like because my daughter won't send pictures anyway.

I havent' seen what my other grandchildren look like so long. I've begged for pictures but my daughter puts it off or tells me she's going to send them and never does because she really never intends to send any.

I just don't want to think about a new grandchild by this daughter because it HURTS SO MUCH.

I know not acknowledging the baby isn't going to keep the pain away knowing there's one I won't know but I just want to hide and not think about it. I don't know how else to cope.

I've got so much going on in my life right now that I can't add another pain. I can't deal with another disapointment. I can't handle anymore right now.

I keep hoping her "thinking she's pregnant" turns out to be something else.

I love my daughter WITH ALL MY HEART but I miss my grandchildren so much the thought of missing out on another grandchild tears my heart out. I got to know the 2 she already has and be a real grandma to them and then they were gone.

I just wish I could be "happy" about her possibly being pregnant but I can't.

Rylee

[Birthmom12_10_2008]

I'm so very sorry. It hurts my heart that your daughter would say those things and then not follow through. I wish there was something I could say or do to make the hurt go away, but I just don't know what, if anything would help. But I do know that ignoring it won't help. You've done what you can on your side of things, and it is really sad that your daughter isn't following through on her end. All you can really do is love them from afar and maybe one day your daughter will realize what she is doing to you and allow you to have a relationship with her and her children. I hope I helped. Sorry if I didn't.

[quantum]

((((Rylee))))

You don't NEED this! Especially not with everything going on with your mom.
By the way, does your daughter know about your mom? Is it possible that she's just saying this to take some attention away from that whole situation? I don't mean to offend! I just remember a lot of the history you have with your daughter and the thought just struck me.

lots of hugs and love sent your way Rylee. I have to beleive that things will get better for you.

[quantum]

((((Rylee))))

You don't NEED this! Especially not with everything going on with your mom.
By the way, does your daughter know about your mom? Is it possible that she's just saying this to take some attention away from that whole situation? I don't mean to offend! I just remember a lot of the history you have with your daughter and the thought just struck me.

lots of hugs and love sent your way Rylee. I have to beleive that things will get better for you.

[RavenSong]

Rylee, I am so sorry you're feeling so much pain. It must hurt so badly not to be able to see your grandchildren. I know you love them very much. I wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better.

Try to take things one day at a time. I always feel better when I do that. Breaking things down into one-day increments seems to be not so overwhelming.

You're in my thoughts and prayers today, my friend.

[JustPeachy]

Rylee, sorry you are having to deal with this, on top of everything else. It seems like your daughter really does stir up a lot of crap to get the attention back on her, as quantum mentioned. I wish your daughter would let you at least have pictures of the grandkids. Does she not let you communicate with them at all?? Can you send them cards or letters?? I'm just wondering if she has cut you off from all contact. You know, I think the running and hiding is only going to make you more upset inside. Can you express to your daughter how you feel about this at all, or will she only blow up at you or start a fight over it? Have you thought about looking into "grandparents rights" at all?? If nothing else, I think I would set aside some letters and cards for your grandkids. As they get older, they may wish to know you and reach out on their own, and you can have these things for them.

[Rylee45]

I never thought about the idea that my daughter might be trying to pull back the attention from my mom. That should probably have been my first thought since she's done so much crap in the past.

I guess I've just been so stressed about life in general and all the stuff going on with my mom that I didn't even think about that.

The one thing about my daughter, is she's told me something like this (not necessarily being preg but other stuff) and mentions it a few times and then doesn't say a word about something again for a LONG time. Then when I ask her about it way later she doesn't remember ever saying certain things.

So, she could just be telling me this because she wants to get that attention. I don't know. But I'm not acknowleging it yet. Maybe that's why she's continuing to mention it every time we chat online. (I still haven't spoken to her on the phone yet since she left the area).

No she doesn't send me pictures or allow me to even talk to my grandchildren. She occationally tells me things they are doing and trouble they've caused but that's about it. I rarely hear anything possitive about them. I've begged for pictures she just never sends them.

The taking it one day at a time is something I try to do but sometimes I can't even get through without going one hour or one minute at a time.

I keep telling myself, "I've gotten this far. Keep going. Just one more minute. You can get through ONE more minute." Other times I can go longer times but everyday just seems worse than the last and sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and ready to give up I don't know what to do except to lay down and hope I don't wake up.

I've had a severe headache for 2 days now. I haven't even been able to get to the hospital to be with my mom because I'm too dizzy to drive and even if my husband took me there I might still pass out and I can't do that to myself or my mom.

My mom understands but she is now worried about me more than she should be. I know I'll be ok but these migraines just happen and sometimes they bring on seizures. I have to wait this out.

I just hope when she gets home I can take care of her and without these kinds of headaches coming on too often. I hate them. They are incapacitating. I'm just glad I have some help here from my youngest daughter when my mom does get home.

My daughter decided to take a quarter off school (she's in college) so she can help me get into a routine with my mom and help me in doing everything we need to do so I can possibly do more of it by myself when she is in school. I'm so thankful for my youngest daughter being so willing to give up things she's doing to help me and her grandma. She's a great girl!

Rylee

[Birthmom12_10_2008]

I agree with taking it a day at a time, and I understand completely that sometimes you have to do a minute at a time, and that is ok. Whatever you have to do to help yourself deal with this.

I think it is very sad that your daughter would do that just for attention and I hope that she realizes what she's doing.

I have been told for myself to write a letter to the people who have upset me or wronged me. So I'm going to suggest that for you. You don't have to give the letter to your daughter, but it might help you deal with it a little better if you write it down. And I think what justpeachy suggested about writing to the grandkids is a great idea.

I'm so very happy that your youngest daughter is willing to help, and I pray that your headaches will decrease so that you are able to care for your mom. I will definitely add you to my prayer list sweetheart. Hang in there.