[Rylee45]

I'm just wondering how many of you felt the way I did before meeting my daughter.

Did anyone ever wonder if their child had been told the right birthday or right hospital or even the right state?

Sometimes I wondered if my daughter was even told she was adopted.

I wondered if she'd been told her real birthday or her parents told her a fake one or told her she was born in a different state than she was really born in.

I thought often that if she was told false information and I put the right info out there she wouldn't recognize my newspaper ad or any search group I signed up with wouldn't have the right info to match us up.

Has anyone here ever had that kind of thinking before they met their child or even now those who haven't met their child are any of you wondering about that?


Rylee

[JustPeachy]

Oh yes, I have! I have a good friend who is friends with an adoptee and she used to tell me that this friend's aparents didn't celebrate her birthday on her actual birthday, but changed her birthday to the date they adopted her. So I used to wonder if my son's birthday was actually celebrated on his birthday, which would have been my preference (of course, I would also want him and his parents to celebrate their adoption day, too!). I know he was told he was adopted and my updates were shared with him. I do sometimes wonder if he was told of his entire racial history. He is mixed, but looks 100% CC. I don't know why I think this, as it appears his parents were very open with him about everything, but it's just something I've wondered about, not so much in the past, but recently. We are not yet reunited, but working on it (sort of, I guess--it's kind of moving so slowly it's barely a crawl!).

[LasVegasMom]

Have I ever wondered?? I wondered all the time, and when we reunited, they were open and honest with him about everything but the very strangest thing. His a-dad told him that I was really young (why in the world they did not think 17 was really young is beyond me) but they told him I was only 13 when I had him. My goodness, I was still a virgin at 13! I thought it was just the strangest thing when they both knew I had just turned 17 a couple of weeks before giving birth. (my gynecologist arranged the adoption and knew my history and of course told them-in the days before privacy laws)His a-dad told me he thought it would make me "sound better" whatever the hell that means. He also told my son that maybe I was raped???? So of course my sweet son was afraid to ask me about his father, and of course I don't blame him. His bfather is a total loser, but we were both only 16 and totally in love/lust and he was created out of love, young and stupid love, but love all the same. Just thinking about this now makes my blood boil-for them to tell him such outright lies I have no idea why they did it still to this day. Good luck in reunion, go as slow as possible, even when you want things to happen fast, my son is not talking to me now 1 year later....

[kakuehl]

I was promised that D would be told he was adopted (not that promises are always kept). I really didn't think much about that part. I wondered if he was alive, how he was doing. For the most part, I didn't expect ever to meet him, so I just hoped he was well and happy and loved.

BTW, the little info they had was accurately shared with D by his aparents. They knew his parents were college students and not much else. He did know his birthday and where he was born.

[geogdeb]

I wondered and stressed about it until we were reunited. Especially since lies like that could've kept us apart forever. Fortunately he was told the truth about everything his adoptive parents knew about (which wasn't much, but was enough).

Deb

[Janeytwo]

I only wondered if they knew they were adopted. I could picture their parents keeping that information from them out of fear. We all do all kinds of things when we feel threatened deep down; especially if we don't realize we feel that way. Not that my kids' adoptive parents did feel that way in reality of course. I have no information so I just have no way of knowing.