[GAGirlyGirl]

I'm new here. Just had a really rough Thanksgiving.

The long and short of my story is that my brother and his wife adopted my daughter several years ago, right after her birth. It is an open adoption to say the least. She understands (for the most part) that I'm her birthmom. They have a child together that is a few years older than my daughter.

My husband and I spent Thanksgiving with my brother and the family (in another state). It was a really tough. My SIL seems to favor her child over my daughter. It's really tough to watch. My husband even noticed without me saying anything.

I don't have that strong of a relationship with my brother so I'm not very comfortable talking to him about my concerns.

To top it all off, is the "normal" pain of seeing my daughter and having to walk away.

Has anyone had to deal with an inter-family adoption? Or mixed feelings with the way your child is treated in her adopted home?

My heart is just breaking with emotion and regrets right now.

Thanks for listening.

[Rylee45]

I don't have any experience with this but I can imagine it would be hard seeing your daughter and not being able to take her home.

I am sorry you've had such a rough time. I hope things eventually get more comfortable. I don't know how I'd deal with the favoritism you've seen. I'm sorry you've had to see that.

I hope you only saw something that happened in front of you but not when you're gone. Maybe they were uncomfortable with you're being there. I don't know.

Whatever is going on I hope things aren't what you're seeing.

Rylee

[KarynB]

Good morning,

I am really sorry to hear you are having a tough time right now. I had a thought though - have you noticed the favoritism before, or was it just this one time? I am just asking because I know with my kids if I've had a rough week (or month!) with them, it is sometimes hard to get back into the groove of things with them, and from the outside it might look like I am favouring one over the other - when the truth is the other one just put me through the wringing for a week and I created a bit of distance, you know?

Of course, that may not be it at all. I am talking about things like just being "easier" on one than the other at a given time, not things like giving on a bigger piece of pumpkin pie, etc.

Either way, it must be so hard for you to see this. I am really sorry and I hope things get better soon.