[Rylee45]

I finally went to my church and talked to my Bishop about things and told him a lot of stuff that happened in my life and what's going on now. He was very sympathetic and understanding about things.

I told him I didn't have insurance to cover counseling and how much I needed it. He has decided after everything I've told him that he is going to pay for me to go to counseling.

I am hoping this person he's sending me to can help me. I don't think his speciality is anything to do with adoption but maybe he can help me with some other issues that are hurting me and causing my life to be so messed up right now.

I figure even if all the counselor is able to do is help me through my anger with my mom and help me learn to control myself in possitive ways or anything that will make life a bit better it's something and better than not doing anything at all about what's going on.

I'm seriously almost ready to have a nervous breakdown. I feel like I'm about to drown and it's not something I want to feel like.

I'm glad that I was able to talk to my bishop. I feel a lot better about some things than I did before I went to talk to him and I'm really glad he wants to help me with the counseling.

I just wanted to let you all know about this. I really hope it helps.

Rylee

[soprano]

Rylee,

I'm so glad you have found some support! It's amazing what a little validation will do. It's a start... and if there is need of medication, they can often start you on samples so you won't have to pay until they figure out whether it works for you or not.

You are in my thoughts,

Soprano

[Nicole28]

Aw Rylee I'm so glad.

Let us know how it goes.

Nicole

[Rylee45]

Thank you. I sure hope I can get into the counselor soon. My Bishop told me that the counselor he's going to set things up with is a very good counselor but very busy and he doesn't know exactly how long it will be before I can get to see him but he's going to do his best to get me in soon.

I hope that happens. But if it turns out to be a month or so, I'm fine with that because it means I'll be able to see a counselor. I look at it this way, I can either say forget it it's too long to wait or be patient and realize it's coming. If I don't I won't ever get in to see a counselor at all because of the lack of insurance to cover it. It's going to be paid for and that's something I can't do myself. I'm so grateful for this right now.

I just hope I can get the help I need.

Rylee.

[quantum]

I'm so glad Rylee! I hope that you get this time quickly.

[jrainbow]

I'm thrilled for you. Hope this helps. If you can't get in for awhile and feel like you need it, you can go back to the Bishop too.

Peace to you ..... Jill

[JustPeachy]

This is terrific news! I hope everything works out well for you with the counselor and you find some relief and peace.

[Jackiejdajda]

Wonderful news.
I kept thinking of you yesterday.. worried.. and you have helped yourself..

Jackie

[Isabo]

Rylee,

I am happy for you. I am sure counseling will help you work through some things. The odds are that this counselor will not understand the losses you are experiencing as a first parent. I have yet to find a counselor who has any understanding of that. What I would tell him is that you need GRIEF COUNSELING to work through your losses, and remind him that you are like any other parent who has lost a child - you need to grieve that loss. The problem with adoption, especially in past practice, is that first parents are not understood to be suffering a loss that needs to be grieved. There is no societal sanctioning of the right to grieve our loss. We are told to "sweep it under the rug" and "move on", and if we can't just do those things, then we are considered to be unstable. That buried grief then festers and damages us in ways that are finally being understood and acknowledged. If anyone told a parent whose child had just died to "sweep it under the rug" and "move on", they would be viewed as cold, critical, and WRONG, but that is what we first parents are told and expected to do all the time. Don't believe it. Insist to this counselor that you need to do the grief work like any other parent of a lost child. Insist that he/she acknowledge and validate your grief, and that they work through the stages with you.

Good luck to you.