[Tigger27]

If you met and decided to place with an adoptive couple and then they divorced/separated before your baby was born, would you still place with one or the other of the parents as a single parent? Or would you choose another adoptive couple to place with? Or would you decide to parent your child if that happened?

What's your thoughts on this?

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by Tigger27

If you met and decided to place with an adoptive couple and then they divorced/separated before your baby was born, would you still place with one or the other of the parents as a single parent?

No. I would have found another couple.

[JustPeachy]

Well, I would feel that since going through a divorce is a huge thing and often emotionally very draining/difficult, I would think that for either of them, adopting a child while in the midst of dealing with all the issues of divorce may not be the best timing. I wouldn't feel comfortable placing my child with either of them and would choose another couple instead.

[Oceans]

I would find new aparents for the reasons JP said but also b/c I would want a 2 parent family with a stay at home parent. So that's more of a personal belief for me...

[taramayrn]

I would have found another couple.

[thanksgivingmom]

My daughters Mom is a single Mom, so for me it's not about the single parent aspect, I'm okay with that (especially since the fact that I couldn't provide a two parent home wasn't the primary reason for my daughters placement) but it would bother me that such a huge life-changing event had occurred. I would have wanted my daughter to enter a more stable environment than a home that had very recently experienced a divorce.

[Oceans]

Don’t you hate it when you re-read your posts and they sound different than what you meant? Just want to say I have nothing against single parents or working parents. I've had both and think I have turned out fabulous!!

But if I had kids today I would want to be a SAHM - and therefore my preference..

[browneyes0707]

Stability was the deciding factor for why I placed. Forget age, income, etc, my relationship with DD's father was very unstable since we had broken up before I found out I was pregnant, and there were a lot of unresolved issues between us. The fact that we did break up and were in the midst of moving on, and dealing with a life altering decision, that wasn't the optimal environment for her, to be placed in the middle of that situation. I feared how that would affect her.

So no, I would not have placed her into a situation that was equally unstable, the breakup being equally as raw, with two people in the process of moving on. For me, that would make no sense.

[lahdh4]

No, I would not place with them. I would place with another couple.

[quantum]

I had no choice as to the family I picked...
I had ASSUMED that it would be a SAHM, but she didn't! I think that would have set off warning bells.
However, his Dad stayed home for the fist 6 months. I'm grateful for that.
They DID get divorced and my feelings were definately anger and disappointment, BUT my son's stepmom is FANTASTIC and I nearly have a better relationship with her than with him! So...I don't know if I would have changed what I did since things turned out relatively ok...

[majicka414]

no, if they got divorced right before placement, absolutely not, I would have found another couple to adopt.

If throughout bchild's life they got divorced, things happen...you can't predict the future.