[birthmomof3]

Well Here is my story I was 16 and pregnant my parents bugged me the whole pregnancy about adoption I said NO, NO, NO!!!! Well I had my son in Feb of 1997!! I worked went to school and would not let my parents take care of him I had a baby sitter I wanted to be stong and not get no help!!!! He went everywhere with me until one day I stayed with my current boyfriend who was good to my son and I and I was not suposed to be there well I got upset that my son was crying so I had talked to a counceler and realized I was too young and immature to have a baby!!! He was 4 and a half months old and I found a christian family that I Loved to take my son!!!! A week Later found out I was pregnant again and told my boyfriend he had to marry me so we told my parents and they told me I was going to go to a pregnancy shelter well to say the least the guy backed away and got scared.... I was devistated at age 17 I went to a shelter and was lonely I hated every minute of it!!! Well my parents said I could not go home if I kept the baby Well I felt I had no choice since I couldnt work while in this shelter so I said ok found a family and then gave birth to her in March of 1998 4 days before my 18th birthday!!! I have had a open adoption with both family's!!! WELL.... At age 20 I was date raped and I ended up pregnant and I choose to keep my son who was born in june of 2001 he was such a blessing at this point I had my own place and shortly after having him had to move into my parents home and go to school!!! I hated livign with them and so right after finishing college I found a man and married him after a month and my son and I were happy for about a month found out he wanted his citizenship he became abusive and controling he was still good to my son but after 2 years I left I coulnt let my son see the violence no more!!! He cryed so much for me I Love that little boy well shortly after I moved back to my parents and my grandmother passed away and there was a lot of drama where my mom kicked me out again and I went to a hotel and it was not safe for my son so he stayed there well with my parents controlling nature they said they couldnt take care of my son cause thery are his grandparents so my mom said have him go live with your brother in oklahoma mind you I live in california.... So I said no he is mine... So I found a room for rent who would take me with a child!!!! Well the first night he was with me there he had a sever asthma attach I could not find anywhere 2 go with him So I did the unthinkable called my brother asked him to take my son!!! He said yes he and his wife would take him and he asked if I want to give him temp custody or relinquish my rights and as a mother My son had been through enough back and forth so I gave them full custody!!!! He was almost 4years old!!! he is almost 7 it has been the hardest 3 years of my life!!!! I want to cry I hurt everyday!!!! I thought I would get to talk to him and see him is has been a year since I have seen him and 5 months since I have talked to him me and my brother are no longer close and it is so painful I miss my little man he was all I had!!!! Now I am in a relationship and it is hard I am living with a 10 year old as a step parent and cannot live very easily it so so much main!!!

[Rylee45]

My heart goes out to you. I wish I could help you feel better. I can't imagine what you're feeling like losing 3 children to adoption. I only lost one and I'm still hurting after 32 years.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Rylee

[lonni]

I am so sorry to hear of your terrible loss of 3 children at such a young age. (((hugs)))

[bromanchik]

You have had multiple losses and traumas. Are you getting any counseling at all? Where in CA are you? My thoughts and prayers are with you. You have endured more in your young life than most senior citizens. Please feel free to pm me if you want me to help you find a therapist.

[birthmomof3]

I am so excited after almost 6 months talking to my little man who is almost 7 My brother called me and let me talk to my son!!! I was so happy and it seems so is he!!! I miss him so much he is so smart in 1st grade at a 3rd grade level!!!! He is so precious to me and he will never know!!!! I miss him so much but I cant go back and change that!!!!