[quantum]

Hiya everyone.
I'm wondering if other mothers in reunion are feeling the same way I am.
When I speak with my son I feel sort of like this vulnerable 18 year old again. I want him to like me as a person, as a friend as...?
But he puts me in the adult position as one of his mothers. Which is cool! But a position I feel weird in taking.
Maybe it's partially because the girls I'm raising are so young still? If I had other adult children the situation would be easier? I don't know.


I have to keep correcting myself and realising that he WANTS me to be the adult here...Or at least it feels this way.

[bprice215]

Go with the flow and be happy for your reunion, it'll all work out in time you'll see. Good luck.
bprice215

[Jackiejdajda]

Quantum

When I speak with my son I feel sort of like this vulnerable 18 year old again.

I felt vulnerable when he used to call and there was no warning of his calling.. I always went into a tailspin..
And it was hard because I never knew when he was going to call and I kept thinking of it..

I want him to like me as a person, as a friend as...?

I think this takes a while to work through.. I know I let him go and did not ask for more.. when he stopped communicating..
I did not call him and he does not do email.. and when I did call him I always got an answering service.. and then I knew I had to wait for his return call.. and I felt Vulnerable.. with a capitol V..

But he puts me in the adult position as one of his mothers. Which is cool! But a position I feel weird in taking.

I do not think of myself as my bsons mother.. I had a fantasy but after a year or so that fantasy became what it was a fantasy..
Reality is he has a mother and father and I am glad he does.. I am glad they are good people.. I am not wanting to do anything that would even be an attempt to be in their place..
I let him define our relationship.. in some ways.. what he wanted I was willing to do..
I wanted intimate emails.. that is where I am comfortable.. but he did not do this.. so I accept..

Maybe it's partially because the girls I'm raising are so young still? If I had other adult children the situation would be easier? I don't know.

I do not think it is easier.. both my kids were over the age of majority when we met up.. and I still did not know what to do..

I have to keep correcting myself and realising that he WANTS me to be the adult here...Or at least it feels this way.

I think we need to stand back and look at the situation from an unemotional place.. Like we are watching a movie and have an opinion on what the principal characters need to do.

And I think we need to keep reminding ourselves that we got the rest of our lives to sort this..

Jackie

[Edarling]

From everything I've read, your feelings are to be expected. You do have to be the adult. You have been very blessed to be in reunion.

[Moongrl22]

Originally Posted by quantum

Hiya everyone.
I'm wondering if other mothers in reunion are feeling the same way I am.
When I speak with my son I feel sort of like this vulnerable 18 year old again. I want him to like me as a person, as a friend as...?
But he puts me in the adult position as one of his mothers. Which is cool! But a position I feel weird in taking.
Maybe it's partially because the girls I'm raising are so young still? If I had other adult children the situation would be easier? I don't know.


I have to keep correcting myself and realising that he WANTS me to be the adult here...Or at least it feels this way.

Just be yourself! Don't live in the past! He wants to know YOU for the person you are today. For sure be the Adult; second MOM. He's looking for other MOM; Bmom and friendship will grow after that. Do what feels right for you. Good luck. YOU are one of the lucky ones!