[dpen6]

Its been a few months since this thread started and she is due at the end of may.

Has their been any changes? have you come to a decsion?

I am wishing for nothing but peace and contentment for both you and your baby.

[ReunitedAlex]

Originally Posted by loveccl

So what should I do? Here I am birthmother of almost 14 yrs and finally pregnant again. I waited and wanted a baby for so long. Now I am in the same place. I am helpless and hopeless and lost. I turn 3-0 in a week and I just thought things would get easier or better. Tonight I realized that the perfect dad I picked has way too much baggage. He has two kids and a CRAZY jealouse ex wife. She has moved on and gotten married but still she calls our home every night and screams about nothing. Its really not healthy for me or my unborn baby. I talked to his Brother and Sister inlaw and they told me to choose a healthy life for my baby and me. So I sit here tonight knowing what I have always known...I can rip out my own heart and still survive...but I'm just not strong enough to be a single parent. So do I give another lil guy up for adoption? I have no family or support system and in the last 14 yrs I have not gotten much off the ground for a career. I spent my 20's just getting from one day to the next. Last fall when I got preg I actually had a great job, and my beau was wonderful and I knew the ex was crazy, but now I am too sick to work and spend my days not knowing how to go on. Has anyone out there ever done this twice? I never thought I would. I wasn't a **** stat...I even broke off a 5 yr LTR and gave back the ring because the guy was not right to be daddy. Some how I feel like I desever better. Like my lil guy deserves better. Still I have to wonder tonight what hurts the most...ripping out my own heart again or stepping off the cliff and being a single mom w/ no support system.

All Birthparent insight is welcome and apprecitated...not in the mood to hear from Aparents. Just don't think you could understand and I don't like pitty.

Loveccl

OOH My, you said it "rip your heart out. " You never forget that first feeling do you. I can't imagine doing that twice. I am a birthmother and am now back together with my daughter. We have all become a very interesting family myself her adopted parents, even her birth father and his new nasty friend. I could not do it again in fact now that I have met her I wish I never did it in the first place. I don't want to bring you on more pain but there is more to come. My advise is, keep this child. You sound like a good person and are very strong. A lot stronger than you think. To get this far 14 years you have to be a strong person. Find a single mothers group and FIGHT for yourself and your child. I Believe in you!

Kathleen

[ReunitedAlex]

OOH My, you said it "rip your heart out. " You never forget that first feeling do you. I can't imagine doing that twice. I am a birthmother and am now back together with my daughter. We have all become a very interesting family myself her adopted parents, even her birth father and his new nasty friend. I could not do it again in fact now that I have met her I wish I never did it in the first place. I don't want to bring you on more pain but there is more to come. My advise is, keep this child. You sound like a good person and are very strong. A lot stronger than you think. To get this far 14 years you have to be a strong person. Find a single mothers group and FIGHT for yourself and your child. I Believe in you!

Kathleen

[keds]

(((hugs))) not twice for me. Stay strong, do what's right for you. Don't make decisions based on anyone else. Why does she have your number?? My advice, speak to a professional. Review the pros and cons and make the best decision for you and your unborn child. Plenty of single moms make it, my hat is off to them, but, at the same time, every child deserves to be raised in a healthy environment (don't read into this a priviledged or money issue - simply put - happy, healthy and without conflict). If you feel you are not able to do so, you decide. You have the experience that we all have, how hard it is to place a child for adoption but, at the same time, that shouldn't be the only reason for raising a child. My heart aches for my bson but, I think it would do so even more if I made a selfish decision - that is, to raise him only because it made me feel better.

I suppose my advice would be, look at all your options, get independent advice and make the right decision for everyone. Your heart and head have to be in sync and I'm confident you'll make the right decision. From the sounds of it, the only person your child needs protecting from is the ex.

[Boxerlady29]

I don't think I could do it again. It would be to hard. I am in no different of a place now than I was then. (well a few different things) but I don't think I would place again. I would figure something out. Good Luck with whatever you decide.