[Rylee45]

After I gave birth to my daughter and before they had me sign the papers to give her up, I was approached by the hospital or someone asking me what I was going to name my daughter.

As soon as I told the woman that I was giving my baby up her face dropped and she left the room.

For years I was so upset about not being able to give her a name before she left the hospital. I wanted to know her real name so bad. It was a real issue with me.

One day, about 5 or 6 years after I'd given my daughter up, a woman I met who had also given a child up and was in search of him, told me that the way she eased her pain and how she dealt with her loss in a small degree was to give her son the name that she would have given him if she'd kept him and wrote letters to him.

That was something that helped me for awhile. I gave my daughter the name that I would have had I kept her and then wrote letters telling her why I'd given her up and all the circumstances around her birth and everything else I could think about. My intention was always to give her those letters if we ever met.

Whenever I felt like writing something I would. I kept those letters and when my daughter and I met I gave them to her. They didn't mean much to her but they did help me somewhat before we met.

She never did read them and they got lost or burned or something when she moved out of the house she was living in when we met.

The thing about it, although it was only momentary help, it did help sometimes to get through the day to write to her. Also to have a name to call her instead of just "my baby".

I wish those letters had meant more to her than they did and she would have read them but at least that was something I guess that helped me sometimes to cope before I met her when she was 21.

Has anyone here ever thought about doing that when their child was first given up or anytime in their lives?

Rylee