[Tigger27]

Since in just a few days is Birthmother's day and then Mother's day, I was wondering how everyone's holding up. I know I had a checking in thread earlier, but wondering how everyone's holding up again now that it's even closer.

Also wondering what do each of you do to help you make it through or cope with the Mother's Day time of the year? Do you have a hard time or are you alright at Mother's Day time and what do you do to help cope if needed at this time of year?

Is there anything I or we can do to help any of you with this time of year?

[keds]

Anne,

Thanks for the note. I'm dreading this year as it is the first year in reunion - taking it slow - and I know I can't get my hopes up and expect a call but part of me really is hoping for one. Let's hope the logical side of my brain rules. Most of the time I just have a good cry on Bmother's day and then spend Mother's day with my 2 daughters enjoying the fact that I have them in my life and they are great! All the best to everyone and I appreciate knowing if I have a meltdown there's support here. I'm so glad I found this website.

[amyshaw]

For me, Mother's Day is a double-whammy.

I was adopted at birth and raised by a verbally (and occasionally physically) abusive alcoholic mother. I HATE going to the store and trying to find a card that DOESN'T say "you were a wonderful mother, you were a great role model...etc". I try my hardest to find one that just says "have a nice day."

Being a birth mom makes it that much harder. On April 23rd, I got a call from my CI. She'd talked to my daughter, but we're still waiting to see if she wants contact with me. I'm waiting until next week to call the CI back to see if she's heard anything. I guess I'm hoping that my daughter will call on Mother's Day, but being a realist, I don't expect it.

So, I'll spend Mother's Day the way I always do: thinking about my bmom, thinking about my daughter, and loving the kids I have here with me.

[browneyes0707]

I'm usually OK, but I do find myself this year a bit on edge, maybe because this is the first year I know about DD and how she's doing and have had contact with her a-mom. I will be busy this weekend with things (wedding, doing brunch for my mom) so I hope/think/pray I'll be OK!

And if not I'll just stalk the boards till someone talks to me, LOL!!!

[taramayrn]

I go to a bmom's day event on Saturday and cry my eyes out, then I'm usually good to get through Mother's Day.

[SchmennaLeigh]

This year has been my hardest in a long time. I'll be concentrating on my Husband this year as his birthday happens to fall on Mother's Day. Previous years have found me doing whatever necessary to keep busy and keep my mind off of things.

[InBlindFaith]

I have always tried to keep my mind off if it and pretend it's just a normal Sunday and go about getting the laundry done.

I'm not sure how I will do this year since I came running out of the Birthmother closet this year. I guess I'll play it by ear and see. It feels good knowing I have awesome support here.

[lahdh4]

I will be seeing E tomorrow and would much rather stay at home under the covers and forget about this whole weekend.

[Tigger27]

Big (((HUGS))) to everyone...I hope everyone's hangin in alright so far with Bmother's Day today and Mother's Day coming tomorrow.

Remember to come to chat tonight at 9 pm CST or Monday night at 9 pm CST if you need some extra support or some chocolate and comfort food to help you out with this weekend.

[browneyes0707]

Originally Posted by Tigger27

Big (((HUGS))) to everyone...I hope everyone's hangin in alright so far with Bmother's Day today and Mother's Day coming tomorrow.

Remember to come to chat tonight at 9 pm CST or Monday night at 9 pm CST if you need some extra support or some chocolate and comfort food to help you out with this weekend.

I'll be there, but mainly cause my fiance went fishing, LOL!!

I also want to be there to support anyone who needs it, I've got the wine and a shoulder to cry on!

[thanksgivingmom]

I'm taking a bottle of wine to a friends house for a boys poker night (although somehow I am included, not sure why...) but it will be all grunting and poker and my wine so I'll be all distracted (hopefully).

I'll try to be there Monday night.

Hope you're all getting through the day

[josh1788smom]

I never even knew there was a birthmother's day until I came to this site. Shows how much I know about adoption. Who knew - we were celebrated!! I think it is great - even if it is only our private club.

At church, they used to say, "all the Mothers please stand up," everyone would applaud and they would get a flower also. I just used to sit there.

Once my son I am parenting was born, I was like "HA, I can finally stand up because you all think this is my first time as a mother." It was very freeing. I didn't realize how hard it was to sit there, until I could stand.

I haven't talked to my bson in a while. He is in pullback mode. So, I doubt I will hear from him, and I am trying to not think there might even be a chance, but if anyone has an extra wish on a rainbow or whatever, I would LOVE a little e-mail note. Not that I would even expect him to acknowledge me as any form of "mother" to him, but I would be sooooo happy for a snipet of communication. Oh well, I can dream can't I.

I hope you all are celebrated for the wonderful women you are today and tomorrow. Best wishes!!!!

[Shadows]

Last year my birth son called me on Mother's Day and I was ecstatic as we had only been reunited for six months and I never expected he would acknowledge that day with me. This year..........nothing. In fact, I haven't heard from him since I went out to visit him in March. No response to my emails or anything. So, while I kind of expected not to hear from him this Mother's Day, I was pretty ill prepared for how much it hurts, which is why it is 2:30 am and I don't think I will be able to sleep for quite awhile, if at all. From reading other forums I understand this can be a stage in the reunion process ("pulling away") but I have to figure out how to deal with it better cuz it gets you to the core.

[keds]

I'm in the same boat. I was hoping since this was our first "official" mother's day I might get a call or a letter but nothing. I spent most of yesterday working so I couldn't stop and think. I got home and my 2 daughters and husband were looking for dinner. I finally realized it was just "another day" and I am my own worst enemy. I set myself up for disappointment. I'm going to try harder in the future and I can't offer you too many coping techniques but someone on the forum did have a message about realizing that what I have is more than I had ever hoped before. At the very least I have had some contact and that is more than others so I have to be thankful for it. I hope your son gets in contact soon. It's been just over a month for me and I did send the first note from his sister so he may be reeling. All the best and nobody ever said it would be this hard! LOL