[lewisc7]

Let me start by saying I'mhappy I found a site like this for people to share their stories and help with solutions.

My situation is strange and long but I'll try and make it short. My ex in 1995 took my daughter away from me and deined me any rights to her. In 2004 I was notified by a children services agency that my daughter had been raped, beaten, starved and tortured fro the better part of 5 years. I had served a short prison term for non violent crime. The rep from the agency placed my daughter in foster care and didn't contact me until around 1 year after the agency first got ahold of her case. By then my daughter had built a relationship with this foster family and I was a stranger and she was very scared to even meet me. The caseworker in turn told me that since I'd went to prison (even though non violent) I could never get custody of my own daughter and it's best to allow the foster parent to adopt her, which I agreed to in 2006. Well in 2009 I got custody of a 5 years old child that was not mine at all but his mother was a drug addict,which has made me start to question what happened to me regarding my daughter. Can I appeal this ruling even though I willingly agreed to the adoption? She is now 15 so she'd probably want to stay where she's at but I atleast want visitation, I have no contact information at all for her except I see her on myspace. Am I wrong in thinking I was "tricked" into giving her up? Any help or opinion is appreciated.

[Jensboys]

You will have no legal recourse, and really at 15 years of age, would you want to do that to her?

I think your beset bet if your intention is to visit and have a relationship with her is to contact the office where she was adopted from. Forward a letter and photos (always important) explaining some of your history to her adoptive family. Explain the past (important to admit responsibility for what you need to) and express a desire for contact in the future. The LESS you come off as a threat the more receptive they will be.

Reality is in 3 years you will be able to contact her without their consent, but you most certainly dont want to damage any chances that you have of being a positive part of her life by coming off aggressively.

Also, you might not have been considered a resource close to being let out of prison, but after staying clean for a certain number of years, you might have been. Also did the 5 year old placed with you know you? Were you considered kin to the child through prior relationship? All those would be considered factors in a decision -- attachment is HUGE and reality is if your daughter was attaching and healing in her foster home, probably the right decision FOR HER was made - even if it was the wrong one for you. does that make sense?

Good luck.

[lewisc7]

Thank you for your response and I guess it does make sense to me now that I read your reply. I just felt as if the "system" failed me again and I have disagreements about how she is being raised, it's really a long drawn out story but it's probably right in trying again to choose a path that is less confrontational rather than screamng injustices.