[josh1788smom]

Mike -

First congratulations!!!

Second - I think your letter is great, BUT - come on ya had to know there could be a but.........
Your family health history uh ..... stinks. It could sound like a kiss of death. Please don't misunderstand me, I think it is great you know and can pass this vital information along, and I am trying to lighten the moment some with humor. I would be sad to initially learn, at 28, that I have a bio-dad who is contacting me, and by the way, schedule a physical and have your cholesterol checked. Does that make sense?

In JUST MY OPINION, it may be a lot of information to digest at one time. Could you maybe say, you would be happy to provide him with medical information, but would also like the opportunity to know him? I'm just thinking not a lot of 28 year old men go to the doctor that much, let alone are that concerned with their health.

Granted, I am not adopted, so I have sort of easy access to my family health history. But my dad suffered a traumatic brain injury 8 years ago, and his parents are now dead. One day, I was with my dad's aunt (my great aunt), and she was telling me of all the people in our family that died of colon cancer, and how she makes sure all her kids get their first screening at 40, and I could only think YUCK!

Just my thoughts, but again - congratulations and keep us posted!!!!

[keds]

Mike, great letter. Short, to the point, no excuses and invites a response. I wish you all the best, I hope you hear from him soon and congratulations on your sobreity. Keep us posted.

[Celtics]

Thanks to all for your well wishes, support and suggestions, they are much appreciated. I have reworded my letter to reflect my openess to future contact and not to offend him by excluding him as a child of mine. "since your mother left I have married and have four children". My wife has been kept abreast of my intentions and while not enthusiastic, I think she understands to some degree. Thanks again to you all.

Mike

[Celtics]

Certified letter sent mid July 18 returned unclaimed Aug 25. His name and phone number are no longer listed in directory. Things appear obvious to me. Thanks again to you all.

Mike

[Celtics]

Just reread my post and thought I better clarify something that may be misconstrued. Though hopes of a reunion seem diminished at present I have learned much from you about this issue and and things related to it in reading other threads. Many of you are very wise and I thank you for sharing. I am very grateful.

Mike

[Jackiejdajda]

I am so sorry Mike.. this must hurt..

No words..

Jackie

[kelceesmom]

Mike,
I am sad to read of the outcome at this point in time. Never give up because you just don't know what the next corner will have. Take care of yourself.

Denice

[Celtics]

Hello to you all. I would like to give you an update on my situation. I received an email from my son in early March. This was totally unexpected. As I mentioned in an earlier post,I had sent him a letter which was returned. This happened 3 times. I decided I would try one last time, only this time I would send it to his employer. Three weeks later came his email. It has gone slow and I sense he is a little cautious and I can certainly understand that.

I have to give you all a big thank you! You gave me the encouragement and guidance on how I might proceed. Also I think you helped my wife understand my position. She has been absolutely wonderful. In fact this morning we looked at his Facebook account together.

I am trying to be realistic and I realize it may be sometime before we meet face-to-face. But I am so grateful for what I have now.

Mike

[loveajax]

Mike, as a Celtics nut, I love your screen name!!

I am so happy to hear that you have been in contact with your son!! I hope you are able to meet him someday soon. I'm also glad that your wife has been supportive. Best to you!

[kakuehl]

Mike,
It is good to read your update. Slow is good. Take the time to build trust. I think your story is a good example about how many of us mature as we age. I personally am not the same person I was at 21 when I gave birth to the son I placed. In addition, I was in contact with D's bdad until he died and had the privilege of watching him grow as a person as well. Unfortunately, D will never meet him because he died in 2000. I think it is often hard for bparents when they have had no contact since the placement of their children. They remember the other as they were then and often have a difficult time realizing that people do change.

I hope your wife will come to peace with the understanding that your bson has a part of your heart too. A relationship with him will actually make you a whole person!

God be with you all!

[Celtics]

Celtics. Yes. If KG were healthy we would be celebrating two in a row now. . . but wait 'till next year.

I don't know how things will eventually go. I know what I would like but I know it must be on his terms. I must avoid the temptation to push the pace.

Kakuehl you are correct about change. I live with regrets of the past but am very grateful for what I have learned about myself.

Again thanks to you all!

Mike