[quantum]

Sounds like mom wants to keep up a dialogue which sounds FANTASTIC! considering the age of your daughter.
You must be on cloud 9.

[Xdad]

Now I have the satisfaction that she is aware of me and all... Where to go from here? The letter was sure to let me know to wait for my daughter to come to terms with it. Should I send my ex information about me and what I have done in the past 15 years. I went to HS with my ex and didn't have much contact then. What I'm saying is that my Facebook page or Myspace pages only cover what is my current whim, and they both don't get deep and down to who I am. Should I write a "getting to know XDAD" letter?
What are some questions that a 15 year old might want answered?
I guess the answer is to keep in contact with my ex for any questions?

[paigeturner]

I would keep the contact with your ex until your daughter says she is interested in contact. I like the idea of a getting to know me letter addressed to your ex. That way she can share the information with your daughter. Think about what 15 year olds like. What's your favorite music? What was your first car? Do you have a cool ride now? I would think about sharing your favorite activities and that sort of thing. Keep it light but share stuff about yourself that they can't find out online.

Good luck. This is pretty exciting!

[Xdad]

Hey gang, not much news here. Summer is in full swing, so my ex has less private time to exchange emails..she has 4 other children. Loaded up my profile pages with old and new pics. I am now "friends" with my ex on Facebook, So I can check in on new photos they take together. Good stuff, but not direct contact yet.

[Xdad]

Communtication my her mother has gotten more casual, my daughter has known about me since she was 2, working on the relationship I had with her mother...you know we were good friends at one time. She tries to talk about me to my daughter, but she isn't interested, but I suspect that she is very interested, but quite a bit to swallow right now. Starting a note campaign between her mother and I so she can see on facebook the interaction. (she is on her mothers facebook page allot).
Letting her learn more about me as a voyer. I am a rollercoaster, but most recently, am at ease with everything...time, **** you time. I am sure ther are books to read about this type of situation...suggestions?

[sstuart]

I am sure as a 15yo girl that she is curious--just probably a little scared right now. I do not have any suggestions for reading. The Prrimal Wound" is the adoptee's perspective. It may be somewhat helpful to you. I hope all continues to go well for you.

[Xdad]

So its been a couple of months. I am really starting to feel that I will always be judged for the decisions made 15 years ago, that I have no role in their lives. I suppose what goes around, comes around. I'm not sure which step this is, but I feel like giving up. Her mother said that My daughter will contact me if she wants to. So I have to stop "interfering" with their lives, and get on with my own life. It hurts more now, than before I had any contact. I feel that if there is no interest now, why expect it down the road. After all, I am just a "donor". Cest la vie.

[Xdad]

Well, that last post really said it all. But amazing what difference a phone call can make. YES!!! I GOT A SUPRISE PHONE CALL FROM MY EX!
She called me out of the blue and we talked for the 1st time in 14 years. It was great to talk directly with her...emails are missleading and to easy to write.
Syll waiting to hear from my daughter, but having fun reading her interaction with her mother on her facebook page...my daughter sees my communications, and sometimes makes comments regaring my posts...not exciting posts to anyone but me. Thank you for the emails concerning the last post, I'm feeling much better now.

[paigeturner]

xdad,

Congratulations on the progress! And thank you for keeping us updated. Your daughter's mom sounds like a pretty wonderful person.