[RobGraham411]

I'm a 22 year-old adult adoptee.

Do you have any advice on how I should confront the man who I believe is my bdad?

Peace

Rob Graham

[SuddenlySusan]

Hi, Rob...

I guess my question for you is whether you want to "contact" him or "confront" him.

If contacting him is what you wish to accomplish, I'd suggest using similar methods as to how you would contact your nmom.

If confronting him is what you seek... I can only suggest that you confront him with peace.

I see a big difference between contact and confrontation. Which do you truly seek?

Peace & Love,
Susan

[isolta]

Susan's message makes sense to me. I assume you're interested in contact, not confrontation. The conventional wisdom is that worst thing to do is to show up unannounced in person, and the second worst thing to do is to telephone (you don't know who else is within hearing range at the other end). My own advice, as a Bdad, would be to send a letter expalining your circumstances and *asking* if he thinks he could be your Bdad. Be patient, an emotional turn-around can take time. I sincerely wish you the best of luck!