[laura913]

I'm actually the wife of a great man who made the hardest decision and gave his son up six years ago. Also soon after that he had another son die just as a newborn baby.
Now we've been married for about a year and he has been thinking about our future and having a baby. He can't seem to get past the feelings of loss and pain involved in his two sons. I understand this and we just don't know what to do. I'm okay with not having kids, but he isn't. He wants kids. But he can't have kids unless these feelings go away. How do we get them to go away or resolve??? I'm going to stay with him forever but I'm afraid he'll leave me to make me 'happy' and to make the feeling of wanting kids 'go away'. but i won't be happy and i don't think the feelings will go away still.
Any advice, Please?

[taramayrn]

First off, welcome. Second, I applaud you for seeking support and advice in this situation. I would encourage both you and your husband to seek counselling for this issue. It sounds as if he has some unresolved guilt and grief.

[bromanchik]

I second Tara's suggestion. Sometimes having someone who is objective help you process things can make all the difference. It really worked for me.

[laura913]

and me and my husband talked for a long time yesterday and he reassured me that the last thing he wants to do is end this marriage and that is the last and worst possibility. I looked into some free Christian counseling and I am hoping to hear from them today.