[Codystory]

I'm looking for support groups for my brother - Who doesn't now or from the start ever wanted the adoption to happen. He's trying to reverse it in court now.

His baby turns One today and he is having a tough time. Is there any support groups out there - with phone numbers to talk to someone?

Thanks in Advance.

[Codystory]

ok, noticing now that links aren't allowed (by looking at other topics) but I can edit! sorry.

[Sniffles]

I fixed it for you and removed the link, you can always report a post after your edit time is up if you realize you made a mistake.

[Codystory]

Thank you!

[bromanchik]

I am so sorry to hear that. I would like to hear more about his case. As far as finding support, there are a couple of father's rights groups. If he did not consent to the adoption he is still a father.

[Codystory]

Thank you!

Here is what happened.

Birthmother tells Cody that she had a miscarriage and they lose touch for awhile. He finds out from a mutual friend she is pregnant and giving the child up to an LDS agency (can't put agencys names in so have to be vauge)

Cody steps in and tell the Agency he wants to raise his baby - after much fighting they back out.

Birthmother Disappears - Calls him from utah saying "I am in Utah - You will never father this child and will pay child support until she goes to college - do you understand?" (this leads cody to believe he'll just have to go to court to get joint custody or visitation rights)

Birthmother never informed him of the birth. Wouldn't return his phone calls - again a mutual friend saw her at a party no longer pregnant.

He sent the police over to do a welfare check on his child (after much insisting again) they call him back saying birthmother was there but baby wasn't. Birthmother tells the officer to tell Cody "if he thinks long and hard he'll know where the baby is"

I put up a website for Cody (because he doesn't know a thing about html) seeking anyone with any information to come forward about the baby. We learn in the guestbook (from the birthmothers family) that the baby was adopted and they gave the name of Lawyer for agency.

Cody writes to Agency Two who's located in Utah (and some say is connected to agency one, but thats just a theory) Agency lawyer says his rights are already terminated. He has gone to court twice and is in the court of appeals. We suspect same adoptive parents from agency one are involved with Agency two and now have the baby. They told cody (per birthmother) that they would include him in the open adoption and would send a picture if he stops all court proceedings. He hasn't stopped and has never seen a picture. Baby is one.

The birthmothers family has been very nasty and have called cody "the sperm donor" People has left "anonymous" threats in the guestbook. Its been quite the ordeal.

[bromanchik]

Utah has more than it's share of these kinds of cases. There was an agency that flew a mom and her infant out to Utah so she could relinquish without the knowledge of her family. (who all knew about the baby and had already welcomed her into the family.) Mom was developmentally disabled and the family fought and received the child back.

[Rylee45]

Oh my gosh that's so horrible that the father of the baby can't get his baby or didn't have to sign papers for the adoption to take place.

When my daughter was given up, they were supposed to contact the birth father to get his signature for the adoption. They only had to publish his name "somewhere" in order to have it legal to take his rights away.

The published a notice in a legal paper that NO ONE would think to look in if they weren't already a lawyer. It was full of case files for notifying a party that there was a court date set up for them to be at and failure to show would show no interest in whatever.

The birth father of my child lived in Pierce county WA. The birth took place in King County WA and that's where the notice was put.

The agency knew where the father lived but refused to send him any kind of notice that would give him any chance to ruin the chances of the adoptive parents to get my baby.

I was told that was common and it was legal. I didn't know about the notice until I started investigating years later to find out if the father had signed the papers or not.

It made me sick how deceptive that they were in their efforts to contact the birth father.

I wish your brother luck with this and tell him not to give up! Never give up! He has rights too!

Rylee

[FoundAt13]

I just found out that I have a 13 year old daughter. I was never told and the mother and adoptive father have been raising my daughter in my hometown while I have been living in the western US for the past 14 years.

The mother seems to be accomodating, except that she has not yet told the child. Her family and mine want to keep this situation private. I spoke with a family lawyer who said that I can file for my paternity rights in juvenile court, but then it becomes a public record and the adoption issues become known.

Bottomline for me is that I can't get back these 13 lost years. If I can start having a relationship with my daughter without legal decrees, it would be best for all parties. Find out where she is living a file for paternity rights with juvenile court. I know this is not much satisfaction now, but your child will want to know you later in life and be quite bitter at the fact that you were kept away. Be the best person you can be. You may have to start paying child support for the right to see her, but you still get to see her.

My daughter will quickly realize that I was never told, never gave her away and would never have given her away.