[Louise66]

Hi All,

I posted about my situation in this thread (I've just found out I have a 48 y.o. sister who was adopted out in 1960).

I feel really hungry to get my hands on any useful information; I've been websurfing a lot and would like to make sure what I'm reading is good quality and accurate.

I am wondering if anybody can direct me to webpages/articles that you consider worthwhile?

I'd like to read stuff about:

bsiblings and asiblings
The fears/feelings/expectations of adopted people when they find bfamilies
How to conduct myself in the event of a reunion
How to deal with rejection myself if asister doesn't want to meet me

And just...anything you think might be essential for me to read and know given my circumstances.

Thanks

Louise

[jrainbow]

First of all, <<Hugs>>. You sound like a very caring and sensitive person.

Check out adoption reunion in amazon. There is a reunion handbook that I read after reunion and I also liked an old book called Birthbond. Since your sister was born in 1960, you might read "The Girls that went away" about girls who were in unwed mothers homes before 1973. It doesn't talk about reunion but it does show what it was like during that time. I'm an adult adoptee and wept when I read it after I first talked with my bmom.

2 years ago, an adopted friend found her bmom and sister when her bmom was very sick - died soon afterward. Although she was not able to have any relationship with her bmom, she did have her questions answered. But she has an ongoing and close relationship with her sister, even though they live in different towns. It has been a blessing to both of them. I hope this is what you and your sister find.

[Jackiejdajda]

A.M. Homes

Her latest book is a memoir, The Mistress’s Daughter (April 2007). Here she writes of being “found” by her biological mother in 1992, which at times reads stranger than fiction. (quote from a review found on the net)

Her birthmom was kind of spacy and was not all Homes expected IMO.. it may give you some good info.. even tho I think it is pretty negative..

Betty Jean Lifton.. all of her books.. she writes from the adoptees perspective.. About their experience..

Here is a link to BN and books recommended there..
BASTARD NATION: Book Review

Those folks want the rules changed.. they want the basic human right of knowing who a person is..

Jackie

[Dickons]

If you were my sister I would want you to read:

The Girls Who Went Away by Anne Fessler to understand what America was like in the 1960's, I knew, but until I read the book, my understanding was from being a small child back then and after, I truly had an adult view of what it was like.

Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier to understand the wide range of emotions and reactions of those emotions, adoptees can go through growing up. Once you meet you sister you may find it easier to connect and create a relationship.

Best of luck in your journey.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[Mockingbird]

I agree with all of the above posts--and Amazon.com is a great site--that's where I got all of my books. Shipping is pretty quick too (even the free shipping). There's also a book called "20 Things Adoptees Wish".... (sorry, I think it's "Their Adoptive Parents Knew" but not sure) I read it and gave it to my son to read. It really is enlightening as to the feelings of many adoptees and helps in understanding some of the things they may have been feeling.