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#1
02-20-2007, 06:23 PM
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feminist lesbian asking for help
i am new to all of this (adoption and it's many faces/forms). i have been with my partner 21 years and she is a 'birth mom' who is currently 'reuniting -re-connecting' with her child that she lovingly placed into adoption many years ago. i have always known about her child,but it hasnt been until recently ,when my partner's dream of reuniting has started to become a reality,that many thoughts (that i didn't have in the past)are coming forward. i've done reading/research but all i seem to find is information about leasbians who want to adopt, or lesbians who are adopted, etc. there seems to be a real void when it comes to my desire to connect specifically with other lesbians in my situation - wanting more info (books/videos/resources) and also wanting to connect directlyabout my joys and concerns. Help-any ideas?
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#2
02-20-2007, 07:56 PM
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I'm sorry that I do not have any experience to offer but I did want to send a message of encouragement. Your partner is so very fortunate to have a loving person to support her during a time that is bound to be emotionally challenging.
With hope and prayers, Happy G'Ma
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#3
02-20-2007, 08:31 PM
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I don't have any words of wisdom either, but just a thought. Love is love. I know that may be oversimplifying things, but reunion seems to be complicated enough. Support your partner, and if she and her bchild begin to work through things, her child will accept you too. (if she truly accepts your partner)
Good luck, and I hope someone has the advice/support you're looking for.
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#4
02-20-2007, 08:45 PM
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I'll make a post on the birth/first parent blog asking if anyone knows of any resources (blogs, books, websites, etc) for you so that we're reaching more people.
I just wanted to say: thank you. Your love and support are so evident in your words. More birth moms need supportive partners like you. Thank you for being YOU.
__________________
   Six months of breastfeeding! (and still going!!) Jenna
 Mom to two boys"This labeling This pointing This sensitive’s unraveling This sting I’ve been ignoring I feel it way down way down These versions of violence Sometimes subtle sometimes clear And the ones that go unnoticed Still leave their mark once disappeared" -Alanis, Versions of Violence I'm now a blogger for Adoption.com! Come read! http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com
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#5
02-21-2007, 05:01 AM
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I PMed you with an e-mail address of someone who might be able to help.
__________________
Six months of breastfeeding! (and still going!!) Jenna
Mom to two boys"This labeling This pointing This sensitive’s unraveling This sting I’ve been ignoring I feel it way down way down These versions of violence Sometimes subtle sometimes clear And the ones that go unnoticed Still leave their mark once disappeared" -Alanis, Versions of Violence I'm now a blogger for Adoption.com! Come read! http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com
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#6
02-21-2007, 06:16 AM
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Lionna-
Sounds like you may be the one to put something out there to help others in similar situations in the future. I hope you find some support so that you can support your partner the way you so obviously want to.
__________________
Em Proud to be The Woobie's mommy!  I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. --- 1 Samuel 1:27 "They might be stripey or polka-dot, but we can all pajammy in whatever we've got!"---Pajama Time, by Sandra Boynton
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#7
02-22-2007, 04:39 PM
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Just wanted to say thank you for your thoughts on my sistuation.I really appreciate you getting back to me.
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#8
04-20-2008, 05:05 PM
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hello there I hope you have gotten the support you want!!! I am a birthmom of 3 and I can understand her and you!!! I am a lesbian and my partner one day will have to go through the same things I have a 11, 10, and almost 7 year old out there it is a open adoption and my partner has had to deal with my hurt and grief!!! I would love to talk more to you and ask you for help that I could do to have this less painful for her if you knwo cause she has to deal with me crying and the pain I feel so bad But Thank God she Loves me cause I guess All I need is the Love and the affection from her!!! I am glad to see others know how I feel and how my partner feels!!! Hope all goes well for you!!!!
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#9
04-20-2008, 10:41 PM
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Lionna, I just sent you a Private Message (PM). So check your inbox if you don't get the automatic notification. For some reason, the notification thingie doesn't work half the time for me...
__________________
 ~~Raven~~What does not kill me, makes me stronger. - Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, 1888 German philosopher (1844 - 1900)
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#10
04-25-2008, 03:03 PM
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Lionna, sorry can't help but my only advice is listen carefully and be truthful about your own feelings. I'm hoping someone else here on the forums can point you in the right direction.
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