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Originally Posted By Amy

This may or may not make much sense but I will try to be as clear as possible. I have 7 children, the youngest being a set of b/g twins 4 months old. I am basically raising these children on my own. When I found out I was pregnant I wanted so much to put them up for adoption and have some what regreted not being able to do it. Reason being I wasn't sure how to explain this to my other children without them being in fear of if something happens I would get "rid" or them. But the emotional and physical stress's are getting to great. The twins are the most adorable, lovable babies in the world, I am unable to work due to I can not find anyone who wants to baby sit 6 kids. They also have to be CPR certified due to the twins being on apnea/heart monitors. I have no money/support what so ever my life/world is falling down around me and dont know what to do. I can not receive any type of money assistance from the state because I have to work in order to receive it. I have no problem finding work I just cant find child care. Every time I look at them I know just how happy they would make somebody and I feel guilty for not putting them up for adoption but when I want to then I feel guilty for splitting up my kids. Will they hate me, will they understand. Will the twins hate me or will they understand. I did notice that another had kept her baby for a month, has anybody else been thru this or had older children and given up a younger one? I did look thru some profiles and found two couples whom seem like they would be wonderful. Have any of you had adoptions that are open as far as letters pictures visitations, or does that only make it more painful, I think it might be easier on my other children if something like that was arranged I am just unsure how I could handle it. Any comments, suggestions, anything. Feel free to email me as I am not sure If I can find my way back to the board.

Amy
amy1031@ohiohills.com