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Originally Posted By do people not help other people on this site?

i have been on here a few time and asked for some help on dealing wth the baby i placed not to long ago.(5 1/2 months ago) and all i get is rude come backs. ex. welcome to the wonderful world of adoption. your baby was stolen from you... how is that ment to help??? if anyone out there can HELP and i do mean HELP me in this time of mylife please i do need it. this what i am feeling hurts so bad. i feel dead. please help

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Originally Posted By a mom

I am a mom and I am so sorry for the rude mean responses you have received. They come from a woman named Sandra and all she does is attack everyone here. We are all liars or snatchers or any other rude things she can come up with. I have thought for a long time that there is more to her story and wonder what her connection to adoption really is. There use to be a great support group here but most have left because of Sandras constant abuse. Ignore her! I have not been in your position so my opinions are just what I can imagine you are going through. You need to find someone who has been where you are. There is a girl on here named Michelle that can help you and if you want I will give her your email. Look for her on the considering adoption board.

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Originally Posted By another Michelle

I am not the Michelle "a mom" was referring to - I usually only post on pre-adoptive families (where I belong) but do come around this side to broaden my perspective.

On the Birthparents (After Adoption) there are several others to look for that may be able to help you - either through their anonymous posts dealing with the issues you have, and some of them have left e-mail addy's as well - keep a special eye out for birthmom Jamie (I've "spoken" to hear via e-mail and she is very nice), Alycea, Shannon - tyler's b-mom .... There are others as well, the negativity by Sandra has prompted many b-moms, a-moms, and adoptees to go elsewhere for support -

I hope you find the help you need in dealing with your pain.

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Originally Posted By Tyler'sBmom8-31-2000(Shannon)

I have a website with a birthmom support board if you'd like to visit. There are also pics of Tyler and journal entries there. I used to leave my email address for anyone who needed to or wanted to talk. But since there have been so many negative postings I don't anymore. But I will email you if you'd like. I don't think a bmom can ever completely let go, but over time the pain does get easier to live with. It takes a tremendous amount of work, determination and strength to get your life back to something resembling normal. It can and does happen though. Give yourself a chance to grieve as you need too. Not as others tell you that you should. There is no wrong way (as long as you are keeping yourself safe) and there is no time limit. But don't let it consume you as a person. Being a bmom becomes a part of who you are but not the only thing you are. Make sense? You've done something that few are strong enough to even consider ever doing. Let yourself also feel good about something. Even if it's a small thing. It's a start. If you like to write, keep a journal. It's a great way to get out how you're feeling. It's also a safe way...ie....no one to judge you since it's private. I hope some of this will help. I'm sorry for not posting earlier. I visit a lot of boards and don't always have a chance to make it back to some for a while. Many Many hugs to you,
Shannon
http://communities.msn.com/ABirthmomsStory

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Originally Posted By Susan

I don't know if what I can offer will help but I will try. I placed my daughter for adoption almost 22 years ago and she is just now trying to contact me. The best and first thing that you can do is realize that you made a wonderful decision. She/He is now in the hands of loving parents who have waited a long time to hold this child. In the letter that my daughter wrote to me she stated that she knows and wanted me to know that I gave her a chance to grow up in a happy and Christian family. She has graduated college in 3-1/2 years.
When I signed those papaers I felt the same as you do now. I was not allowed to discuss or even mention the fact that I had a child. The one thing that helped me the most is that I did talk about her, thought about her, wrote about her and always prayed for her safety. I kept silent around my family because that is the way they wanted it. They are in for a rude awakening when I walk in and introduce their 'NEW' family member. Brettne has always been apart of my life and I have celebrated and mourned her birthday for 21 years. Never forget your child in your life but don't make it the center of your life. You need to take baby steps out into the world. Find a close friend you can share your experience with and who will listen when you need a friend. I have gone through 21 years of wondering if she was ok and now I know she was. Let me know if you need to talk and I will try and help.