[Archive]

Originally Posted By Linnie

Hello,
I am 19, young, and really need some advice. I am 4 monthes pregnant and it's not by my boyfriend. I am pregnant by someone I don't intend to be with and I don't want to put blame on an innocent thing inside my stomach who has nothing to do with it. I wish I never got pregnant by him and my boyfriend knows and he's in jail right now but I really love him and we've been together for 2 yrs. He says don't have it but it's too late for that and I refuse to get an abortion. The person that I'm pregnant by says he will be there, but I could care less about him. I love my ex who loves me and I wanted to experience this moment with him. I don't know if I should give it up for adoption or what. I really want to be with him and I don't know what to do or say. In other words he's telling me that if I want to be with him, he doesn't want me to have a baby by someone else. What should I do??????

[Archive]

Lose the boyfriend honey.They are a dime a dozen but a child is irreplaceable.You will find the right person one day that will love you and your child,until then,you have someone that you will love you and you will love above all else,your child.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By jane

Babies take a alot of time and money. It is a very important that you will be there for your child. If you discide to keep it. Your x-boyfriend can be replaced. But your child can not. There are adoption agency out there that are more open. This means if you do give your child up you can always be in his/her life. Its called open adoption. We all now LOVE is stronger then anything. So good luck in your discission. What ever your discission it will be the right one for you. Take care

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Liz

Make sure you do what you do for yourself. Not for your ex or the babys father. I am a 21yo single mother of 4!(I gave one up for adoption) I love my babies dearly but without my support network
and money it would be next to impossible for me to raise them. They are ALOT of work. I gave one of my children up for adoption. The parents are amazing, I have an open adoption and I see him twice a year, they live in CA and I live in IL. Let your heart open up to what is most important for you and the baby, men will come and go!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Liz

If you ever need to talk or get somethings off your chest you can email me LAFF75@yahoo.com I'm not the same person as failed attempt(adoption)just so you know!! I see they have the same name as me.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By GodsLiddleAngel@aol.com

email me if you wanna chat. have been through similar situation. atleast post and let us know how you are doing..

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Patty

As a person who gave a child up, i would recommend that you give this baby up, (it doesn't mean you don't care).

But the biggest problem you have right now is loving a man (or boy) who doesn't want you with a child not his. If he truly loved you and was more mature he would want you and the baby no matter what. I say DUMP HIM.. He will never be any good for you...he will only cause her heartache and if in the long run you do give the baby up and end up breaking up him or he breaks up with you, believe me you will be devastated. There are way too many people want to adopt, contact an agency for an open adoption, you can at least receive pictures and know that your child is in a loving home. Do yourself a favor and get rid of this dead beat boyfriend. GOOD LUCK!!! I hope you find peace...

[Archive]

Originally Posted By shevie(chevy)

hey listen i was in your place and i was 16 and now 17 .don't listen to ur boyfriend b/c his opinion doesn't matter in your decision of this.adoption is one of the best things to do.does your mom and dad know?if so r tey gonna help you?if so don't give it up!!!!!!just make sure your ready to decide.if your gonna keep this kid u need a job,high school dipl.,a car and a father to help pay bills.i gave my daughter up b/c i had no help.if u bring this kid up in your invironment w/ u and the farther not getting along u gonna mess up this kids life really bad and u don't wanna do that!!!!!!!i actually think u r gonna give your kid up b/c u not ready for it and thats ok we all make mistakes and we fix them.go and find the right parents and have open adoption so u can keep in contact w/ ur kid and its family.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Annie

As the sister of someone who lost her children because of being involved with the wrong guy..and also from my experience of having my husband at the time telling me if i helped my sister by trying to get her children placed with me.. the best advice i can give you is to follow your heart and do what you feel is best for you and the child.. please .. dont let your ex influence you into giving up your child if it is not something that you honestly want to do for yourself and your child..if you do... it may be something you will regret for the rest of your life.. because it is something that you will have to live with. And to be perfectly honest.. if he loved you as much as he says he does.. then why would he tell you that you must chose between him and your child? Just like my ex tried to tell me to chose between my sister and her kids or him.. obviously my choice was not him.. I can think of no excuse for that.. if i was in your position i know what i would do.. but it is and should be your decision.. if you need to talk to someone.. my email is JstMissBehavin@aol.com.... Annie

[kuhnsthomas78]

The only one who matters is that baby. It will be hard but that small life needs a mom and dad. And it sounds like you could use one as well. You are young and have alot of growing to do your self. I am sure your a young lady that has alot to offer but you are not ready to raise a child. Giving your child will hurt and you'll think of it everyday. But be happy that you gave him the best oppertuinty at a wonferful life.

Drop the boyfriend and find your self and be picky about the next young man you lay down with. You are worth more than a a fly bu night guy.

[glollybe]

Hi,
Have you come to any solutions yet? If you would like to talk e-mail me sam@mido.com We have experience in adoptions but also in advice.

[soon2adopt#2]

Just wondering if anyone reads the WHOLE post. This one was dated Sep. of 2001. Do you all know that we are now going into 2003?? that would mean that this girl is no longer pregnant and probly doesnt even read this board anymore! Just a thought. Good luck to you all.

[glollybe]

This is true, but that doesn't mean that they placed their babies, not everyone is looking for just an infant.

[Jaimie02]

I am sorry you feel so torn. I would like to say that it is amazing the people that come in and out of your life. If he truly loves you he will stand by you no matter what you decide. I would love to talk anytime Workonly3126@aol.com

[pattijo]

Hi Linnie,

My heart goes out to you. I am adopted. I was given up at birth to a loving and wonderful couple. My birth mother gave me a gift by giving me up for adoption. I had a wonderful life with my adoptive parents. I am 44 with three almost grown children. I had my first child when I was 19. I was married with alot of support, it takes alot to raise a child on your own. You are very young to hang on to a boyfriend in jail. Move on. There will be other opportunites to find love. I am glad that you are not having an abortion. Open adoption is an great option. Although I grew up with loving parents I still have a void in my heart. Do you have the resources and emotional stability to raise a child on your own? There are many couples looking for children if you decide to give the child up use a legitimate agency. I am also a grandmother, my daughter was 19 also when she had her baby. She too has a lot of support from family. It takes alot to raise a child. Forget the jailbird. You have to think about you and the baby. This is a lifetime commitment. Good luck to you.

Patti Jo