[Jackiejdajda]

hollyhunter

One of the tasks was to write a thank you letter to someone who inspired your creativity and send it to them.I wrote a letter to my friend Julio and I wanted to share it here because I can't send it.

What a beautiful man.. What a wonderful memory..
I had a friend I sent my drawings to.. so many of them..
I had hidden them before that..
Not my commercial ones.. they were for sharing..
But my real ones..

Jackie

[Jackiejdajda]

quantum

VERY guy friendly! For wall quilts. They are optical illusion quilts.

Needlework art is very beautiful in my eyes..

I love what happens in the patterns.. and the colors..
They change and change again..

I am glad you did not listen to that woman that told you you should do a real job..
She is a crazymaker.. personified..

Julia Cameron The Artist Way.. page 47

Crazymakers discount your reality. No matter how important your deadline or how critical your work trajectory at the moment, crazymakers will violate your needs. They may act as though they hear your boundaries and will respect them, but in practice act is the operative word.

The work of old the real work for some is needlework.. its tactile.. the fabric..
My husband is into looking into the past.. I am not so that way because I gave a son up for adoption and I know part of his past is lost.. and I am so sorry this happened..

But.. my husband found out that I come from weavers.. men weavers women weavers.. cloth people..
Yorkshire and the shoddy mills.. My grandmother was tossed out by her family because she did not marry who her parents wanted her to marry.. they owned a shoddy mill.. (a mill that took old fabric broke it down and made it into new)

I wish the separating off had not happened.. but then my grandparents adopted..

Jackie

[Jackiejdajda]

Janeytwo

Ah well...guess my talents lay elsewere! :-)

Writing a book is good..


Jackie

[quantum]

I don't count those as my 'art' I do a lot more, and a lot of different things.

So, I don't know really. I reccommended to my parents to check out Artist's Way. I am certainly NOT going to share my journey through the book, I just thought they might find it helpful? interesting?
I said something to my mom about my not getting the workbook. Part of me wishes I had so that I would have one place to do all these exercises in. She said 'Well that's sort of cheating right? like using a coloring book.'
Personally I don't find anything wrong with coloring books. My girls have some. I let them color however the heck they want to. Inside/outside the lines. Blue people, purple pigs. It's weird the messages I got growing up. One the one hand, my mother seems to be so anti coloring books because they 'stifle your creativity' however she also was on the bandwagon of 'that drawing isn't good enough'. How can you win in that situation? I went through a phase where I was doing soft sculpture when I was in high school. I made something for my mom and a few months ago I found her ripping it apart to use the stuffing for something she needed. If she'd just asked me, I had other stuffing! But I sure got the message, it wasn't 'pretty' enough for her.

It means I feel guilty sometimes doing someone else's pattern. I love needlework too, but feel guilty because it's not 'my design' but sometimes I just like the act of doing it. Plus the finished result. Is that so wrong? I don't think so. Now I just have to beleive it.

Thanks for the babble.

[kakuehl]

It seems to me that what I consider my art is creating art using a pattern someone else created, whether that's knitting, quiltng, playing the flute, or singing. We make a pattern our own... no two quilts, for example, are completely indentical, even if we follow someone else's pattern.

[hollyhunter]

I think we have to stop judging our work and just do what we love. I did my first quilt from a pattern I copied from a book.I also tweeked it around some, adding some of my own design and ideas to it. I'm totally inspired by quantums quilt, of course I'd be compelled to alter it to fit my own individuality(and level of skill!).I enjoyed making my quilt so much. It was the first thing I'd done in a long time that I could just sit and work at for hours. I don't care what my censors says about the things I love to do anymore. I think art school sent a message that if you weren't totally off the wall crazy you weren't an artist and it wasn't art. Who cares what it is? I don't. Not any more. I think that is the whole point of the artist way is to do what you love and stop worrying what might be said about it. The other thing I love to do is sculpt dolls. I haven't done that in awhile. I hope to start back with that again also.

[djvj]

nothing is truly original anyway...i mean, i look at art as the process of pouring a bit of yourself into anything...in chapter one she talked about doing repetitive tasks with mindfulness and that being a kind of art....

sometimes i feel more like a crafter than an artist, but what is the true difference? we have to learn skills to make art, but is the learning and practice of the skill itself different from art? i think it's all a part of the same process

anyway, quantum, i really think your quilts are beautiful examples of art. i understand how you feel about patterns because sometimes when i draw or paint or collage i feel like i am stealing a technique from someone else, and combining it with an aesthetic i learned still elsewhere...but the result is alway a new thing anyway....

just my opinion.

[Jackiejdajda]

Quantum

I said something to my mom about my not getting the workbook. Part of me wishes I had so that I would have one place to do all these exercises in. She said 'Well that's sort of cheating right? like using a coloring book.'

I have an art book.. one of those binder things.. and I write on it anything I can find..
When I was really into mp’s I had a stack of pages stuffed in a drawer..
She says that we do not read the mp’s till much later on.. heck I can not even read half of them because I scrawl when I write..

Personally I don't find anything wrong with coloring books.

I have paint by numbers software.. I take photos hubby and I have taken and break them down into sections of colors..
I then fill in the color bits.. Make patterns that become something else.. become the creative painting..
I like the control.. I don’t like doing the creating without any boundaries.. I like control..
I can do creating without any boundaries but I do not want to get up in the morning and do it.. its too out there..
I like preponderance of the small..

Page 22

Any regular, repetitive action primes the well. Writers have heard many woeful tales of the Bronte sisters and poor Jane Austin, forced to hide their stories under their needlework. A little experiment with some mending can cast a whole new light on these activities. Needlework, by definition regular and repetitive, both sooths and stimulates the artist within. Whole plots can be stitched up while we sew. As artists we can very literally reap what we sew..

She wrote before this paragraph..

Remember, art is an artist brain pursuit. The brain is reached through rhythm –


I remember the first time I read that and I felt.. yes.. this is right..
Coloring books brings on the rhythm.. we do not have to sit and ask the brain to create.. to make us proud.. to do the very best painting ever..

I love my repetitive.. maybe one day I may do the greatest piece of art ever done and my mom and dad would be proud.. but that’s not today.. Today I get up in the morning and want to work.. enjoy the work..
That’s my prime directive..

One the one hand, my mother seems to be so anti coloring books because they 'stifle your creativity' however she also was on the bandwagon of 'that drawing isn't good enough'. How can you win in that situation?

I know Julia Cameron disagrees with your mom.. and my mom.. LOL

I went through a phase where I was doing soft sculpture when I was in high school. I made something for my mom and a few months ago I found her ripping it apart to use the stuffing for something she needed. If she'd just asked me, I had other stuffing! But I sure got the message, it wasn't 'pretty' enough for her.

I have completely divorced me from my mom and her idea of what is good art..
Or I sure as heck hope I have..
I do for me..

It means I feel guilty sometimes doing someone else's pattern. I love needlework too, but feel guilty because it's not 'my design' but sometimes I just like the act of doing it. Plus the finished result. Is that so wrong? I don't think so. Now I just have to beleive it.

I started my wool needlework.. doing a kit.. Elizabeth Bradley..
Then a woman told me about counting stitches.. and she said as you learn learn how to do that..
Then I took my photos and what I found on the net and broke them down into patterns.. and now I put in a color and then pull out the color if it does not work.. if the colors do not play with each other..
This is where I sit.. this is where I am in my path to creativity..

Now I take that to painting.. I take the pattern and continue with the repetitive and look for that part of my brain that wants to break out.. and change then thing.. small enjoyable steps..

Jackie

[Jackiejdajda]

kakuehl

It seems to me that what I consider my art is creating art using a pattern someone else created, whether that's knitting, quiltng, playing the flute, or singing. We make a pattern our own... no two quilts, for example, are completely indentical, even if we follow someone else's pattern

wow.. I like this..

well said..

Jackie

[Jackiejdajda]

Hollyhunter

I think we have to stop judging our work and just do what we love.

This is what this book taught me.. My mom the crazymaker would get inside my head when I started doing something I liked..
No no no.. she says.. you can be a great artist.. get to work..

Paint every day and do it my way.. I can’t find that color in the background tho.. the right blue..
And I can not get the background she would say.. she loved doing the faces the pretty people..
It is so hard to accept that she was wrong for me.. her way was her way..

I did my first quilt from a pattern I copied from a book.I also tweeked it around some, adding some of my own design and ideas to it. I'm totally inspired by quantums quilt, of course I'd be compelled to alter it to fit my own individuality(and level of skill!).I enjoyed making my quilt so much. It was the first thing I'd done in a long time that I could just sit and work at for hours.

Yes.. Just sitting and working for hours.. it calms me..
When I was really working on my grief I did a watercolor..all tiny dots that were on top of a swash of color on watercolor paper..
I would just dip my brush into the color and dab.. and I cried hunched over my drawing board..
I still have that painting..

I don't care what my censors says about the things I love to do anymore.

My mom will say.. you are wasting your life doing those stitches.. get drawing..
I don’t want to draw.. I don’t want to make it all perfect so I will be somebody..

I think art school sent a message that if you weren't totally off the wall crazy you weren't an artist and it wasn't art. Who cares what it is? I don't. Not any more. I think that is the whole point of the artist way is to do what you love and stop worrying what might be said about it.

No one knows I am here.. I don’t show my work.. I enjoy it too much.. and one time I showed it I watched the womans eyes and I judged me by her eyes.. it changed what I was doing..

The other thing I love to do is sculpt dolls. I haven't done that in awhile. I hope to start back with that again also.

I love doll art.. I have some wonderful images in my head on terms of doll art.. The Antique Road show.. I love to see what women and men have done in the past.. Made a doll..

I used to belong to the Textile Museum in Toronto and I took a few courses.. they have an amazing collection of tribal art that has been collected around the world.. and stored properly.. some of these tribes have disappeared..


Jackie

[Jackiejdajda]

Djvj

nothing is truly original anyway...i mean, i look at art as the process of pouring a bit of yourself into anything...in chapter one she talked about doing repetitive tasks with mindfulness and that being a kind of art....

I love the bit about repetitive tasks being the way to the creative part of the brain..
I used to force my creativity.. sit in front of a blank page and work..

sometimes i feel more like a crafter than an artist, but what is the true difference? we have to learn skills to make art, but is the learning and practice of the skill itself different from art? i think it's all a part of the same process

I agree.. and this is what I like to do.. I sometimes feel like I am cheating when I spend the day working on my needle work..
I should be doing the dishes or vacuuming the rug or continue to unpack my art books down stair..
Or freeing up my sewing machine so I can make some clothes..

anyway, quantum, i really think your quilts are beautiful examples of art. i understand how you feel about patterns because sometimes when i draw or paint or collage i feel like i am stealing a technique from someone else, and combining it with an aesthetic i learned still elsewhere...but the result is always a new thing anyway....

And the IChing says.. It would further you to have something to do..

I am loving this thread..

Also my internet provider has gone into receivership.. and they say they will continue to provide service but they did not take their monthly fee out of my account this month.. I may not be able to get on.. until I find something else and out here something else is hard to find..
I can do phone connection but it is so slow.. and I get knocked off all the time as our phone line is far from town..

So if I am not here I am trying to get here..

Jackie

[quantum]

We need you Jackie!

[hollyhunter]

I've been out of commission a few days due to computer problems. I just got back on. I'm here via ISP.com high speed dial up(they don't even pay me to say this!). I can't afford the cable high speed. I get kicked off all the time but it is faster than regular dial up.

I've really been enjoying this thread too. I have also been dutifully working on my artist way. I love the prayer book. Its a great compliment to the Artist way book. I can really feel some beneficial effects already, enough to keep me enthused. Its so great to be able to kick ideas around with others too. I'm so glad you all are here.

[Jackiejdajda]

So far so good.. I am probably going to get a double bill next month.. and the signal is getting better..

Sooooooo

The Virtue Trap.. page 98.. (what I am into today and one of my favourite quotes)

We strive to be good, to be nice, to be helpful, to be unselfish. We want to be generous, of service, of the world. But what we really want is to be left alone. When we can’t get others to leave us alone, we eventually abandon ourselves. To others, we may look like were there. We may act like were there. But true self has gone to ground..

What’s left is a shell of our whole self. It stays because it is caught. Like a listless circus animal prodded into performing, it does its tricks. It goes through its routine. It earns its applause. But all of the hoopla falls on deaf ears. We are dead to it. Our artist is not merely out of sorts. Our artist has checked out. Our life is now an out-of-body experience. We’re gone. A clinician may call it disassociating. I call it leaving the scene of the crime..


She goes on to address the ‘false self’ (next page) “This false self is always patient, always willing to defer its needs to meet the needs or demands of others”..

I wonder how many of us are angry about the deferring to others.. angry about how others controlled us at important times in our lives.. how we bend to their need and get resentments.. not do as we wish..

A trigger.. An anger..
This is what the core of this book is about to me.. finding the way back to putting ourselves first.. saying I am sorry you are into this or into that but I can not do you.. I need to do me.. I need to find my way back to me..

What do you wish for?

Jackie

[quantum]

What do I wish for?
That's hard in some ways.
I am on my third marriage. In my first marriage I hit a super creative streak, but I was depressed beyond belief. I have been able to understand that on some levels, the problems with the marriage, I WAS left alone. Lonely and married, a sucky place to be. Then I found a worse place to be.
My second marriage was to a semi-psychotic, super possessive toy boy. He crushed my spirit. He made it impossible for me to create. He took away any feeling of safety I had in myself.

I then spent a good deal of time completely alone. Now I'm in a very safe environment. I get a lot of support and encouragement. I HAVE started to create again. But it's hard. It's hard to take the time for myself. I don't want to mess up my girls how my parents messed me up.

What do I wish for? I want to get myself back, but better. I feel like I'm on the way, I really do. I want to be able to create with abandon, with complete freedom. I want to say something that means something and not just make something pleasing to the eye. I don't want to feel embarrassed to do this.

That would be taking me out of my safety zone. I guess what I need to do is expand my safety zone? Or have enough security that I can jump out of my safety zone?

Am I making any sense?