[kakuehl]

We want to create a list of books to recommend for reading about all aspect of adoption. What books have you found helpful as members of birth families? Please recommend your favorites.

[SuddenlySusan]

Kathy -- thanks! And, how funny that I found a thread that had started with this concept just now. I'm cross-posting my reply:

"The Girls Who Went Away" by Ann Fessler
I first saw this book as a new release in our local bookstore the summer of 2006. I picked it up to have a look and as soon as I realized what it was about I felt sick to my stomach. I put it back down and had to leave the store.

When I "suddenly" found my son in Jan 2007, I wanted to understand "things." It was the first book I thought of, so I ordered it from the bookstore. It was the beginning of what I now call "The Great Purge" and it was what released the "Wall of Tears" that had been backing up for over 35 years.

My husband read it, too, and he cried as well. I bought three more books to pass around to my friends and family. One of my friends was reading the book on a plane... he was crying so much that the woman sitting next to him asked if he was okay.

I am unwilling to share my experience with others unless they are willing to share my tears as well. My story is not for entertainment purposes or to satisfy someone's curiosity. My son's amom and asis and I are now in contact with each other. I have asked them to read the book as well, so that we can have a common understanding of the historical context.

Thanks for the thread... I hope others reply with books that have been helpful for them.

Peace for All
Susan

[kakuehl]

Bumping this up! Please list books on adoption that you've found helpful! Thanks

[RavenSong]

The following books by Betty Jean Lifton:

Lost and Found, The Adoption Experience

Journey of the Adopted Self, A Quest for Wholeness

Twice Born, Memoirs of an Adopted Daughter

All three books have helped me immeasurably throughout the years!

[kakuehl]

Thanks Raven,
Any other suggestions, anyone?

[kakuehl]

Are there really only 2 books/authors out there, that you recommend? Are there books for children you like? What about books to help tell children about their birth siblings? Maybe we need some writers!

[Yarrow1]

Yes, are there any books for partners/spouses of Birthparents in reunion? I can tell you, there's next to nothing. Someone write this book please.

[RavenSong]

I like Stories of Adoption: Loss and Reunion by Eric Blau, M.D. But I may be kind of biased here, since my son and I have our own chapter in it, lol! Eric based his book on 38 interviews conducted in San Diego, CA, back around 1992 with all members of the triad. It's published by NewSage Press. (The oral interviews, themselves, were also featured on National Public Radio.)

This is the blurb that NewSage Press has on the book at its website:

This book reveals compelling personal stories by adoptees, birthmothers and fathers, and adoptive parents who experience reunions. The individuals in this book are of varying ages, backgrounds, and lifestyles, but they share similar emotional mazes characteristic of the adoption triangle. these are stories of profound loss, as well as joyful reunions and resolution. Stories of Adoption acknowledges that there are no easy answers to this complex situation and honors the diversity of experience for each individual in the adoption triangle.

Eric Blau combines his skills and sensitivities as a professional photographer and as a medical doctor. He spent three years interviewing and photographing individuals for this book.

[Rifilanna]

"Birthmothers" by Merry Block Jones has been a useful refernce for me. Also "Bad Mothers" ed. Ladd-Taylor and Umansky has a chapter on birth mothers. My favorite book on/about adoption is "I wish for you a wonderful life." which is a collection of bmom letters from ?korea....but I can't remeber who edited it.

[RavenSong]

I just wanted everybody to know that The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler is on sale in the Bargain Bin at Amazon. The hardcover edition only costs $6.99 right now, but quantities are limited.

[kakuehl]

Bumping this up! Any one have any other suggestions before the list is made up?