[Montraviatommyg]

I never actually wanted to relinquish my son but I had no support, my parents were adament he was to be adopred and the social worker basically lied to me. She eventually told me that it was too late to put a stop to the adoption yet last year I found I had been lied to. Personally I wouldn't have relinquished my son if I had the support needed.

Pip

[eastendmommy]

I wouldn't have relinquished either. I was coerced into doing something that I didn't want to do. I now know that things could have turned out if I had been brave enough to stand up to my family. Tammi

[numbr1dbcksfan]

You know my feelings.

[SchmennaLeigh]

I wouldn't have relinquished.

...

It's been a long time coming for me to be able to admit that. I'm there now.

I don't even know if it's "okay" for me to say that.

[Montraviatommyg]

Jenna, it's definitely okay to be honest ... ((((hugs))))

Pip

[tinamcgraw4]

If things would have been different and my adoptived parents would of aloud me to go home I would not have given up my son for adoption.
Tina

[BrandyHagz]

There isn't an option for my choice - so I'll post.

Knowing what I do now, I would not change a thing. I made the decision to place for good reason and nothing I know now would have changed that decsion.

Great poll pip

[blambdin]

I would have opted for a semi open adoption. I was only 17. I was doing alot of partying and not living the type of environment to raise a child in. Even in my 20's I wasn't able to have taken care of a child, hell I had a hard enough time taking care of me. Only now in my 40's (Ahhhh am I really that old?) Actually I'm about to be 50... only recently have I felt comfortable with myself and am now raising a child. Actually I have three daughters with me, two step daughters ages 9 and 7 and my wife and I have a three year old together.
I would have liked to have at least been able to know who got my daughter and how she was being raised. I would have loved to have been able to carry a picture in my wallett and say "this is my little girl, isn't she being raised well?"

[scarlet52698]

I would not have placed my son had I known what I know today.

[lahdh4]

Knowing now what I didn't then --- I would still have her.

But then again -- hindsight is 20/20

[Mommy24]

If only I had been more informed....I would absolutely do it all different. No I would not have relinquished! Does that mean that I did it for all the wrong reasons though...NO

It simply means that if I had someone that could have made me see that Adoption was a Permanent solution to a temporary situation then I would have been able to see it all different, but I wanted so much more for my son than I could give him and I didnt (couldnt) have known that a year or so of struggling would have been worth a Lifetime of smiles and I love you's from my Bson.....

michelle

[lillian47]

I would have never relinquished if only I too had the backing of my family. This is something that has caused me a great deal of pain for the last 34 years. After the first year I met my husband we tried to get my daughter back but being newlyweds we did not have the monetary funds the attorneys were wanting. Again I asked my family for support because they had the means and the answer was "Whats done is done".

Lillian

[Susan1987]

I wouldn't change one thing. I knew without doubt that my son was to be with his adoptive parents. I couldn't give him the life that he was entitled to. I put him first. I am reunited with my son now, and we have a wonderful relationship. He needs me in his life just as he needs his adoptive mom. He told me that from as young as he can remember he has always wanted to find me, his adoptive parents supported his search. I knew that he would find me one day. I now have something in my life that I had always hoped for. I am blessed.

A very wise woman (Birthmom also) said this to me:

"I was a teenager who found herself pregnant - chose adoption - struggled with the loss yet went on to have a good life with husband and further children, and waited years for my son to contact me. The results of that contact are amazing and prove that sometimes the hardest decisions have beautiful endings."

I couldn't of said it better if I had written it. She says it all for me.

Susan 1987

[merrill1277]

Originally Posted by eastendmommy

I wouldn't have relinquished either. I was coerced into doing something that I didn't want to do....

Same here. If I knew back then, even a small fraction of what I know now about adoption and what it really means (especially what it meant to my bson), I'd have had a leg to stand on to say NO... this is NOT in my baby's best interest (and not what I want!). Knowledge is power, which is gained from experience and *real* information. Misinformation and coercion is disempowering and tragic.

Merrill

[Pinakitha]

Mommy24's probably right -for many of us, adoption was the "solution" we were offered to what, actually, was often a temporary problem which, with proper support (financial & loving/friendly, non-judgemental support I mean), might have made all the difference.

Knowing what I know now, had I had that support, I would never have relinquished & lost my only child to another couple.