[Archive]

Originally Posted By Christine M.

I've read most of the posts here..trying to find some way to get over what Im feeling right now. And I am so glad that there are people out there who I can connect with. My daughter's first birthday is coming up later this month, on the 24th, so it's almost been one year for me.
Right now, I feel like I felt the first month without her. I just want to cry my eyes out all the time. I dont feel like doing anything. I go to work, then I come home and sit in front of the computer or TV. I adore my daughter's adoptive parents, and I know she is very happy. I know that I made the right decicion. But I cant get passed the loss... I feel like Im starting all over again, and that all the progress I've made over the last year is vurtually erased.
I have a 3 1/2 year old, and Im trying to be strong for her...but really, I feel like Im falling apart again..
What helped you guys get to where you could deal with the loss without falling apart??
Any advice would be apreciated...
Christine

[Archive]

Originally Posted By TRACY

I GAVE UP A DAUGHTER WHEN I WAS 16. THE PAIN NEVER REALLY DOES GO AWAY BUT IT DOES GET LESS WITH TIME. EACH PERSON IS DIFFERANT OF COURSE, BUT WHAT HELPED ME THE MOST WAS TALKING ABOUT IT A HAVING A GOOD SUPPORT SYSTEM, WHETHER IT BE FRIENDS, FAMILY OR COUNSELING. THE 1ST BIRTHDAY WAS VERY HARD AND THE WORST. I KNOW I DID THE RIGHT THING. I'M LOOKING FOR HER NOW AND DON'T WANT TO INTERFERE BUT WANT TO KNOW SHE IS OK. WAS YOUR ADOPTION OPEN OR THROUGH AN AGENCY? HANG IN THERE...GET AS MUCH SUPPORT AS YOU CAN AND KEEP TALKING, WRITING AND FEELING ABOUT ALL OF IT. PRAYER ALSO HELPED ME ALOT TOO. GOOD LUCK. TAKE CARE.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Alycea

HI. Birthdays are horrible, but my boyfriend made me start something. Because I spent the 2nd day of every month crying, he told me to start clebrating her life. On her birthdays, I thank God that she is alive, happy, healthy, loved. I thank God that I know what she looks like, and the way her parents are raising her. I celebrate that she was born at a wonderful time of year, when life is renewed and the soul had amazing powers of healing itself. Celebrate the fact that you are a strong, and wonderful woman, and the best mother in the world, because you are the reason that your children will be okay. Celebrate the life that you have given her, when you could have taken that away in an instant. And never forget, that you did the most wonderful thing in the world and she will thank you for it.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Christine M.

I've kinda been avoiding the boards for a couple months....but I just wanted to say thank you for the post...that advice is about as good as it gets. Thank you!-Christine

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Boy...oh boy. Looking back...and knowing where I am now... Im not so sure that I buy the whole "It lessens with time" Thing.