[LilPeggy]

First let me say I'm scard. This is something I have waited for, dreamed about, wanted with all my heart to hold my daughter in my arms again.

I spoke with my daughter's adoptive mom last night for the first time in 9 years. My adoption was open. It was a difficult phone call to make. We talked about a few things. I let her know right up front that I always trusted them but I expected more from them. They treated me just as badly as everyone else did. When I mentioned pictures they promised me I was told we don't take pictures my father did and he never gave any of them up. I have 9 pictures of my daughter most are the itty bitty school pics, but I am thankful for what I received.

We talked about the girl from my adoption support group who told her I was at the meetings. She swears that this person never told her anything about what I had said but that's not what this person told me. I know this person was trying to help but who was she trying to help me or the adoptive mom?

In the middle is my daughter. I don't feel she will see me alone. I've invited her and her mom to dinner at a very nice resturant owned by a close friend. After my phone conversation last night I'm unsure if this is the right way to go, but it's done.

This is so weird, would you believe her parents didn't know how to contact me because they don't know my last name? All she had to do was make a phone call and my number would have been in her hand if she'd asked. We know the same people. I think she was just trying to make excuses which I didn't want to hear. By the time I got off the phone I knew nothing had changed with the adoptive parents. She was putting it all on me like I misunderstood everything.

These are good people who love my daughter so much and she loves them. I know she has feelings for me but I feel having dinner with her and the adoptive mom would be a terrible mistake on my part.

My daughter will be here either late august or christmas. I'm unsure of what to do or say so I will leave it up to my daughter and her mom. If she wants to see me with her mom I guess that's what I will do. I pray after this first contact we can see each other without her mom.

Cross your fingers and cross your toes. I need all the luck I can get.

LilPeggy

The only prision is the prision of self.

[Montraviatommyg]

Hope everything turns out alright for you, the waiting must be awful but my thoughts are with you.

Philippa

[sunnyfromNY]

How old is your daughter?

[LilPeggy]

My daughter will be 24 this august. I really would like to see her around her birthday but have chosen Christmas instead.

My health is an issue again that's why I chose December. I already had neck surgery and recieve epidural injections into my spine. It helps me walk but the pain is severe again and I'm unsure how much longer I can get these shots. I'm just hoping I can see her if not I'll send her another ticket to come back.

It's not like she'd be here all alone, she has friends and family living in the area besides me. Cross your fingers and cross your toes. I need all the luck I can get.

Peggy


I

[Montraviatommyg]

It would be good to hear your health improves before seeing your daughter as it would be a shame to put off meeting.

I was going to write that I'm curious to know what date your daughter's birthday is but will be honest and say I'm just downright nosy. My son's 24th birthday is on the 3rd of August hence me being nosy .

Philippa