[jmjsocal]

I am a father in Califonia opposing the process of a step parent adoption. I am not sure how to stop the process of my Ex and her husband are attacking me with with this attempt.

Over the last 3 years my exwife has exhonerated my visitation rights unlawfully. She would conveniently alienate me by not answering the phone or door, not returning calls and doing everything possible to not see me face to face. I filed a petition for reunification prior to them wanting to adopt. The literally hung this up in court for the last 2 years. Continuance after continuance.

The only grounds that they are basing this step parent adoption is abandonment. because I had no contact with my daughter for a period of more then 1 year. I have a few people that can testify with a declaration stating I have in fact made attempts on various dates including police officers that documented the call.

What can I do? I love my daughter with all my heart and it breaks my heart that my ex would do such a thing.

Please help me win this battle...

[Cheryl62]

I'm so sorry to hear about what sounds like a very painful situation for everyone.

How old is your daughter? Do you know her wishes in this?

I don't have any experience to be able to give you legal advise. But I so much hate to hear about children being caught in the middle with one parent or both trying to hurt each other. Sometimes it seems it is too easy to either forget or ignore the need our children have to have both their parents in their lives (of course assuming no abuse or other situation that makes it dangerous for them).

Your family will be in my thoughts.

[jmjsocal]

Thank you for your concern. All in all time has gone by and the Courts seem to not have a care in the world about that. It appears to become hopeless as I feel as if I am fighting for my life.
As I mentioned, there are no grounds for these actions that I can see clearly.

I am hoping that someone can give me some hope. I put together a defense with Declarations from others who can attest that I have in fact made attempts on about a dozen visitation attempts a year.

As far as my daughter is concerned, I believe there has been some parental alienation in play by the mother. I am also enclosing several exhibits showwing images of my daughter very happy from as early as 1 yo to the very last day I saw her. I am hoping with what little ammo I have it will be effective enough to win this battle.

Can anybody tell me their experieces?

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Seriously? You should just be able to contest it! You have to have your rights terminated in order for him to adopt. And if there are no grounds...you shouldnt have a problem. In court, it is the person bringing the accusations who has to prove their case...not the person that the allegations are against. The case pending itself shows that you have not intentionally abandoned your child..and if what you are saying is the whole story...I hope that the judge sticks it to her.

Usually a judge wont terminate a father's rights against his will. There really has to be grounds for that!

My advice? If there is a visitation order, make sure that you have a certified copy of it and make sure that you show up for visitation. When you do, if she is not there or does not answer the door... call the police department and make a report for every instance. Keep a log with anything tangible phone records proving you were there, etc. If there is a visitation court order she IS legally obligated to follow it.

Good Luck!

[jmjsocal]

Do you think my declaration by my ex gf of 4 years and a declaration from my current gf will help me in court? I also have declarations from family whom live in Alaska stating that when they call my daughter for her birthday and the sort that my ex hangs up on them...

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Cant hurt! Any statements need to be notarized, though. Or 'signed under the penalty of pergury."

LOL - just notarize. As well as any birthday or fathers day cards sent to you from her or your daughter. Anything you sent that was returned.... etc... Photos of you and your daughter together.

You may not need these things...but like I said she has to prove her case...these things will help counter her claims.

Be sure to photo copy any items to be used in court in case you have to give them to her.

You shouldnt need them at the first court hearing ... you will have a court date given and they will tell you how soon exhibits must be entered.

[Colorbind love]

I would strongly, and I do mean strongly recommend you hook up with a father's rights group. No, your ex shouldn't be able to railroad you like this. But, she shouldn't have been able to alienate you and prevent you from seeing your daughter for the last several years. At this point, its actually quite easy for her to prove abandonment and get your parental rights terminated. Unfortunately while this country has come a long way in recognizing the rights of father's, we have a LONG way to go.

Please, you should have hooked up with those who battle this frequently several years ago. You are now fighting an uphill battle to keep your rights to your daughter and you could very well lose your child in this fight. Do a websearch for father's rights groups and start contacting everyone you can get hold of. They will know how to deal with this. I doubt many of us here have much to offer you. But, the father's rights organizations were established and now have years of experience with the very issues you are battling right now.

If you truly want your daughter then your best bet is to get connected, get a lawyer and fight with everything you've got before your ex shows up in court and convinces some judge that you are a dead-beat who hasn't bothered to be a father for the last 3 years of this child's life.