[numbr1dbcksfan]

Wow. I am so sad....and I see that others are too...Is is the holiday this weekend?? I feel bad feeling so sad when I get pictures of my little girl and others get nothing. I feel like they have much more of a right to be sad and I should just shut up! But wow. Everything was making me cry last night. Posts here...then friends...then posts here again.... and Im sitting here now fighting tears....for what seems like no reason.

I know she is healthy, happy, beautiful and her parents are great. They're better than great. So why am I still sitting here a mess?? AND why are there no support groups in Phoenix!!!???? I mean this is a BIG city!! Online is great and all....but maybe you just need a hug sometimes from someone who understands. Maybe you just need to cry with someone who knows. This sucks.

Sorry for being a baby, but wow has it been a rough few weeks with the deaths and now the holiday. Just needed to vent. Anyone else care to???? <with tears>

[awakeawarealive]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((number 1)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
first things first

[crayons]

Guess I'll join you.....sorry you feel so bad {{{HUGS}}} I have felt so down, this holiday really is tough, everythings going on in my head at the same time. This week while searching, I thought to myself, why am I doing this, I sure don't deserve even knowing my daughter if I found her, sure didn't earn anything as good as that and maybe I should quit searching and just leave her alone anyway. I am boderline search or don't search this week, my heart feels like it's going to jump out so I will try to calm down before Sunday, yeah right.

You should not feel bad for saying how you feel, sure glad you did, I wouldn't have said anything about feeling bad if I hadn't seen your post, so thanks,I would have kept it to myself and held it in. I have been trying to do things and out of the blue just cry, so if you don't mine my tears, I'll bring my one person pity party into your's. I hope you feel better, I know easier said than done. Thanks for starting this thread, so we can unload. Best wishes to you..........Thanks, brandy

Hang in there..........

[79nic]

Hi (Christine, right?),

(((Hugs))) Maybe it's something in the air... don't know.

I was EXTREMELY touchy yesterday. I had a dentist appointment and took my 3-month-old daughter with me. The dental assistant gave me the, "Is this your first child?" question. Normally I am immune to that one now, but for some reason yesterday it got to me. "No." "How old is your other little one?" "She's three." "How is she reacting to the new addition?" "I gave her up for adoption." (Awkward silence.)

I hope you get through the holiday OK. Don't feel bad about feeling sad... it's OK. It still hurts, even with pictures and/or visits.

Thinking of you,
Nicole

[MustangSally]

I am feeling sad, as well. My daughter is 13 and I hope her amom has a wonderful mother's day. I will enjoy my four this weekend. On a group I belong to, another birthmom posted a recent pic of her daughter. Maybe about the age of my daughter. It just hit me how I would love just a peek at the young lady my baby is becoming.

I placed my daughter in a closed adoption, received picture for the first six months. That was the agreement and her parents even went beyond the six months because she got sick.

How I wish I had asked for semi-open adoption. It is just beginning to hit me how much I am missing. Just a glimpse. That is all I want.

But that isn't possible. All I can do is hope and pray for reunion and lots of photo albums to look through. I will have to see her grow up in pictures.

Thanks for starting this thread! Keeping emotions bottled up makes them multiply.

Amy
bmom to Kirsten Colleen 9/28/90
mom to Joey, Elizabeth, Katie & Joshua

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Wow Brandy,
I dont think Ill get it together before Sunday. I hope you decide to continue to search...even just to tell your girl that it is tearing you apart searching...so she will know. My biggest fear is that even with a semi-opened...my daughter will be so happy that she will never want to know me. I always have all kinds of things running through my head why I am down like this. In AZ we sign a paper stating either yes we want to be notified in case of the death of the child, or no we dont. Accidents happen everyday!! We play the waiting game for 18 or 21 years...but what if something happens...what if she never knows how much I love her. *tears* I hope you search and I hope you find her and tell everything in your heart. ((HUG)), Brandy and hug everyone.

Christine

[NCMom]

First of all, as a #1 Houston Astros Fan, I want to thank the D-Backs for kicking the c*%p out of our rivals the Cubs 2 out of 3 this past week. Whoo Hoo!!

But most importantly, I want to thank you for your contributions to this forum. I always enjoy reading your posts. Your a treasure, so don't even think about going anywhere!

I wish I could personally give you the biggest hug ever, but since I can't, would it be OK with you that you get a hug by proxy? I'm going to give our pbmom the biggest squeeze ever. And don't feel guilty about your feelings. Yes it's great you get pictures and updates, but that doesn't mean your not allowed to still hurt, miss, and grieve your child.

I'm glad you came here. You are loved. You are valued. You are safe here.

Be well sweet thing,

Laura

[tobeafamily]

It's times like yours that I am soooo happy movies like "An Affair to Remember" and "Beaches" came out - because they give us a great excuse to have a good long cry. As much as you want to hold it all in, I suspect if you let the crying genie out you'll feel much better.

BTW I bet there are others in Phoenix wondering the exact same thing...:-)

Hang in there. Big virtual hugs.

Regina

[MustangSally]

Christine,

I wonder if you could start some sort of program through the Florence Crittenton Home there?

http://www.flocrit.org/about.htm

Or be one of their mentors.

Amy
bmom to Kirsten Colleen 9/28/90
mom to Joey, Elizabeth, Katie & Joshua

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Ive really thought about starting one. My 'sarrogate' mom told me that her counselor friend just reunited and that she would probably be happy to help. Maybe I should talk to her. I will email FC right now...but I have shecked tons of places and everyone says that they are no longer active.

[Colorbind love]

Never, never be sorry that you are sad. You have every right to be sad and no person on the face of this green earth holds the market on pain and grieving.

I truly think Mother's Day is harder than any other holiday of the year. Even 10 years and 4 children later, I never know how I am going to handle Mother's Day until it approaches. There have been years that I hide in my room and try to forget the world. And, there have been years when I was estatic and full of joy with the life I have now that what I gave up didn't hurt nearly so much.

Do what you need to get through this holiday. Cry all of the tears that you need to cry. When you feel strong enough to pick things up and move on again, then do so.

I remember my first Mother's Day. I was one month post-placement and I actually went to church. It was truly a horrible experience. It gets better. Time helps put your heart back together, even though things will never be the 'same' again.

[missingmyboy]

Hey my dear friend,

You have been so darn wonderful for me in the past few months. Thank you so much. I can now return the support to you! I love you girl! You are wonderful.

It is okay to feel down no matter what you recieve in terms of contact. I feel down sometimes and even have frequent visits.

Go ahead and cry hun. It is your right! We all have to do it sometimes and it is okay.

I wish I could be there with you and hugging you. Know that I am thinking of you and care for you. (((hugs)))

Shelley

[LegallyKim]

You know what? There's no support group in my area that I am aware of either. And I so could have used a support group when I was a new birthmom, but it would be nice even now that I am an "experienced" birth mom of 16 years.

SO, here is what I have, just this minute, decided to do. I am going to contact a few programs we have for pregnant mothers of all ages, and if they don't want to get involved, I am going to put an ad in the newspaper. I am going to start a support group. The nearest adoption agency/maternity home is a couple hours away, but I know there are several birthmoms in my area.

I think this will so help my healing as well! Wish me luck!

[dadfor2]

numbr1

go ahead and feel sad.....as long as you can let me join in...i am acutally from the other side.

i feel sad when i look at my children....its mothers day...they are not with their birth mom, they know this. (we adopted older kids)

im sad because im sure this holiday brings up alot of issues for them.

im sure mothers day is a tough one for alot of people, doesnt really matter why someone is sad...it just is what it is.

yea, we can always look at the bright side, that just gets us to the next day...but right now, we all have the right to feel sad around this specific day....for whatever reason....

so, you are not alone...this holiday is a tough one and brings up alot of emotions.

dadfor2

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Just got my very first actual response from a support group response in a year (beyond sorry this group is not active any longer or that email nolonge exists...) THought I would share. I already know that the place he suggested doesnt have one but maybe Ill call his contacts when I can do it without crying and sounding pathetic.




When I was running the adoptive family groups, we were furtunate to have the oppoprtunity to talk with two different birth mother panels. Wow - The power and love and courage of birth mothers is truly unique to the world (you are part of an incredible and select 'club') :-).

They were organized by Beth Kozan at Catholic Social Services. Beth was my wife and my social worker for all three of our children.

She may not be working with this area any more as she was a senior level manager at the organization. However, if she is available, she would be able to hook you up. Worst case, I am pretty sure that Catholic Social Services has something for you. My experience with them is that although it was "Catholic" social services, religion was not the focus, building families was.

You can try Marie White (480-782-0116) she is an adoptive mom and an advocate who has many contacts.

I wish you the very, very best. I admire your courage and insight to seek a support group. There is a support for you. There are many families that will fit the needs you seek for your child. Good luck

Beth Kozan can be reached at 602-997-6105

If I can help in any other way, please dont hesitate to contact me again.

Peace.
Craig
----- Original Message -----
From: christine mazurowski
To: craig_maron@yahoo.com
Sent: Friday, May 07, 2004 10:39 AM
Subject: Support Group.


Craig,
I saw that you have 'adoption' support groups. Are they still active? I am looking for a birthmother group. Is your group something that you think I would be interested in? IF not, do you know of any active Birthmother support groups? Please help!

Thank you,
Christine