[ajzbaby6598]

Hi! My name is Brenda. I put my beautiful son up for adoption almost two months ago. His birthday is June 9th, and he was adopted on the 11th. I am in an open adotion with the family and their eight year old daughter (whom adores me and is also adopted.). They are the most important people in my life. They are keeping me involved in his life. They put a picture of me in his room and we are planning a visit very soon. I know that all this should seem like I have it easy, but in fact it often seems the opposite. They live just over an hour away from me, and for the first time since I last saw him, I heard his beautiful cry over the phone. I asked if she would put the phone up by his ear so that I could say some things to him, and I told him how much I love him. That was extremely hard! I just had such a hard time hearing him sound so close, I only wanted to run to him and hug him and tell him it's all okay. I know that I will always be a part of his life, but I have this fear that he will never want to see me, or understand my (and the birthfather's) decision. (By the way, the father and I are still dating.) I guess I am just looking for support and some people that I can talk to. feel free to post back or to email me!
(I attached a picture of my son. He looks just like his father)

[ajzbaby6598]

I think that this is a great site for anyone to read who calls a birthmother selfless. It has a lot to do with birthmothers feelings. thanks for your reply.

[ajzbaby6598]

I didn't mean to seem so rude. Thank you very much, but when I saw selfless, I thought about this site. I don't think I could have gone through a closed adoption. I like being here for him. They have a daughter whom is also adopted and they tell their children taht they are adopted from day one so it isn't a shock.

[stacyone]

Awwwwwww.... what a sweet little peanut....

[walton_hilton]

Your situation is so similar to mine. I just gave my daughter up for adoption on the 4th. She was born on the 1st. The birth parents live an hour away from me. It's too early for any visits but we have an open adoption agreement. All I know is that I miss my little girl. Those days spent in the hospital loving her only to have to give her up before I leave was brutal. Even now I find myself thinking about what the three of them may be doing at any given moment. I gave her to a couple who biologically couldn't have children. I have two of my own and I knew that this couple could appreciate the gift of children. I too am looking for someone to understand my pain and to help me through this. I hope that maybe we have enough in common that we could chat. Feel free to respond.

[ajzbaby6598]

Hello. Yes, I too find myself wondering what my son is doing on a daily basis. He is my first child. I was with him in the hospital for three days (I had a c-section) and I did not sleep at all those days. I didn't want to miss one second of him while he was around. I didn't even notice that I wasn't sleeping. You can email me and we can talk further. ajzbaby6598@yahoo.com

[hippiechick]

Just wanted to say that there are many, many birthmoms on these boards--many of them are newer/more recent bmoms with open adoptions. Having your adoption open doesn't take away the grief you will go through by placing your child. Reach out for support, girl--(as you are, at least online).

You keep the level of contact to what is comfortable for you. If it hurts too much to visit or talk on the phone, then take a break from it. Go with how you are feeling at the moment, as your feelings are likely change a lot over time...

[Skye Hardwick]

Hello and welcome to the board!

What a dollbaby your son is!!

Just like you, when my daughter was small I asked his Mom to put the phone up to my daughter so that I could hear her coo.

You'll find a great bunch of ladies here -- who understand the pain, sadness, and joy of a birthmother's heart.

With love,

Skye

[jeniferL7]

I completely understand! I placed my daughter over 7 years ago. I remember wondering what they were doing at any given time. Our adoption was also open, but I only got to see her once after she left the hospital. In the state of CA there is a 90 grace period where a birthmother can change her mind. I got to see her on the 91st day. I think just getting pictures a couple of times a year, has helped me move on, but also get the comfort of knowing she is doing okay. And knowing the decision I made was right. Seeing her, I think, would have made it much harder for me! The pictures have been a wonderful way for me to see how happy she is, and how happy the aparents are. I will never stop getting the pictures. She knows of me, and has asked questions. But we have never talked. Another reason I get the pictures is so the aparents always know where I am! If she ever asks...

I felt alone on many occasions... I want you to know that you aren't! And if you ever need anyone to talk to! You can always email me!

Your birthmom pal,
Jenifer
bledsoe22000@hotmail.com

[KZacharyC]

I want to talk to you more I hae to tell you that our situations are like ssssssssoooooooo the same except that the birthfather and me brook up about 3 months ago when my son was about a year old.
you have to e-mail me amd we can talk more
my e-mail is karalynnz@comcast
msn karalynnz@hotmail.com instant message me that would be great
love kzacharyC

[sspete]

What a beautiful baby boy!!!! As a bmom to a 19 year old daughter I know what you are going through. Our adoption was closed however. You are a very strong bmom and I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!!! It makes me smile for you that you have such a great set of aparents to work with.......you are truly blessed there!!! My prayers are with you!!!!

S Pete

[cathy102]

Your son is so darn cute..You and your son will be in my prayers..

Cathy